Stick To The Script
by firecrackerbabe11
Summary: Blaine has to protect his little sister from their father because he does not approve of Blaine's sexuality.  How will Blaine be able to help his broken sister? And how will Kurt be able to help Blaine understand it is not his fault?
1. Chapter 1

Things have been different ever since Blaine decided it was time to tell our parents that he was gay. Deep down they both had known for a long time, and Blaine had been dropping hints for a few weeks trying to make the news a little less unsettling for them, but still, it was hard. I had known for years. Blaine had snuck into my room one night and woke me up to tell me. He said that out of all the people in the world he only wanted me to know for now, because he and I had always been completely honest with each other.

The first time I realized that Blaine and I had a relationship that was different than other brothers and sisters was when I was five. We had walked to the park together as we always did, but Blaine didn't run to play with his friends right away; he saw that none of my park friends were out playing so he played with me instead. Even though he was seven and had 'boy games' to play, he willingly stayed and played house with me in the sandbox. That was the day I knew he would always be there for me.

We both knew the reason that Blaine had hid his sexuality from our parents for so long. Eventually Blaine had come out to some of his friends, but coming out to our parents, to our dad, was completely different and I knew that. Mom would come to accept it, hopefully, but Dad would be mad, like scarily mad. I imagined my dad would yell like he did the time that Blaine and I were playing catch and broke a lamp. It was actually my fault, but Blaine willingly confessed to protect me. The night Blaine came out was the first night my dad completely lost it. Blaine was 14 and I was 12.

Later that night Blaine snuck into my room. He didn't say anything; he didn't need to. I simply scooted over and he crawled in my bed. I could feel his body shaking from the sobs and I knew that nothing in this house would ever be the same. But that didn't matter because he and I had each other. Through thick and thin we stood up for one another.

It's been a year now, almost to the day, and nothing has happened with my father since. I took this as a good sign. But tonight when Blaine came into my room he had a serious look on his face.

"I decided that I'm going to tell Mom and Dad about Kurt tonight at dinner."

"Blaine, I don't think…"

"No, Riley, I'm sick of tiptoeing around Dad. I'm not going to let my fear of him keep me from living my life. It isn't fair. I want to be able to have Kurt hang out here. I want him to meet you! I want to be able to help Kurt understand where I come from, and I don't think I can do that if I continue to hide him from my home."

"So I'll go to coffee with you two one day. Don't do this. You know what will happen."

"Look Riley, that's not the point." Blaine grabbed my hand and sat down on my bed beside me. "Maybe you're still too young to understand, but this" Blaine gestured towards my door, "This is not how a house is supposed to feel. We shouldn't have to walk around in constant fear of our words and actions getting us hurt. It took me a long time to realize that. And I'm not willing to live like this any longer."

I knew exactly what Blaine meant. We both walked around this house like it was made of glass. He and I never had more than a telepathic conversation unless we were safely behind a closed door. We both stood up and he pulled me into a tight hug. He whispered into my hair, "Don't worry about me, Ri. I can handle Dad." Blaine took my hand as we both headed out to the kitchen where we knew our world was going to shatter.

Before we even started eating Blaine dropped my hand and encouraged me to take my seat while he stood directly behind me and cleared his throat. His hands were on my shoulders and I could feel the slight build in tension as both Mom and Dad turned to look at him.

"Mom, Dad, I have something I want to tell you." Mom shifted in her seat as Dad folded his hands together in front of him. "I don't know if you have noticed, but the reason that I have been gone so much and missed family dinners is because well…I… I have a boyfriend. His name is Kurt." Mom hung her head as if she thought that would make her invisible for the fight she knew was about to come. Dad started shaking, and I watched as his eyebrows furrowed. I was sure that the crease between them had grown so deep that there would always be a line that resided there.

"Riley. Did you know about this?"

"Dad, don't drag her into this."

"Riley! Don't make me ask again!"

I looked nervously up to my brother for silent advice. He closed his eyes and gave me a little squeeze to my shoulders. "Yes, Dad." Blaine's hands tensed even more around my shoulders because he and I both knew that the difference between knowing the answer and saying the answer could be the difference between life and death. I wanted to wince in pain but I knew that, compared to what was about to come, this was nothing.

Before I could even figure out what was going on, Dad took a swig of his beer and threw the empty bottle towards the wall where it shattered, leaving an imperfection in the wallpaper. His fists slammed down on the table as he stood up and got in Blaine's face. "Son, I need to talk to you. Alone."

"No I'm just as much a part of this as he is." Dad reached down and grabbed me by the wrist. He was squeezing my wrist so hard that I could feel each individual finger on my skin and I could practically feel the bruise forming already. My mother started sobbing quietly in the background but did nothing to stop him. Blaine tried to stand between us and yank his hand off of my wrist yelling, "Dad! Stop it! You're hurting her" and "Let her go!" When that didn't work, Blaine smacked Dad square across the face. At that, he dropped my wrist.

I tried to stand between Blaine and Dad but Blaine pushed me out of the way. He was always a protective older brother. My dad raised his hand to hit Blaine; there was already so much tension in his muscles that I could see how badly this is going to hurt him. So I did the only thing I could think of; I grabbed a piece of glass from the broken bottle and reached up and dug it straight into his palm. Dad turned around and smacked me right in the eye making me fall to the ground. I was hit with such force that my eye was instantly swollen and I couldn't open it. Dad was too strong for me; I couldn't hold him back any longer. He turned to face Blaine again, pulling the piece of glass out of his hand.

"Is this what you wanted, son? Do you see the blood this family has shed for you to just be 'different'?" Dad threw the piece of glass at Blaine and it hit him right under the eye leaving a cut.

"Do you think I can't see that?" Blaine yelled back. "Do you think I can't see how disappointed you and Mom are when you look at me? This is just as rough on me as it is you. I have a little sister to protect and I can't do that now that I was forced to transfer to Dalton. It kills me, Dad. But maybe if you were to put down your damn beers every now and again I could protect her from the real world and not her own father!" At his words, I closed my eyes and began to pray. We weren't a religious family, but right now I was so desperate I would try anything. God! Please! Don't let him hurt Blaine. He doesn't deserve this! Blaine is all I have. Please protect him. When I opened my eyes I saw Dad's foot hit Blaine's shin and he fell to the ground. He and I were at eye level now and he just looked at me and his eyes said it all: "I'm so sorry, Riley. I will fix this."

Dad's arm lifted high above his head before punching Blaine in the jaw. I leaned my head back against the leg of the kitchen table and closed my eyes again. God! Where are you? Can't you stop him? You put Blaine and me here. Please take us away! But no matter how hard I tried, no matter how hard I prayed I could not stop the repetitive motion of my dad's fist punching Blaine's face. I was out of options and Blaine needed my help. I stuck my foot out and somehow managed to trip my dad. He turned and looked at me. I didn't even recognize him anymore. The look in his eyes was terrifying.

"Are you really standing up for your fag brother? Do you not see how useless he is? He is just a waste of space and money in this house. Going to that school full of fags! Singing in that group of fags! And now he wants to spend his free time swapping spit with a fag! He's useless!"

"HE IS MORE OF A MAN THAN YOU WILL EVER BE!" The house fell completely silent. Part of me wished I could suck the words right back in but more of me was happy I finally said it. I knew what my consequence would be so I simply turned my head, locked eyes with my helpless brother lying there on the floor, and accepted my fate.

My father raged on for another fifteen minutes as he took turns between kicking and punching, using both Blaine and I for the target. Finally he walked to the door, grabbed his coat, and walked out into the brisk December air. I looked over to my mom's chair for help, but sometime within the whole scene she too had managed to get away. All that remained in my house was me, my brother, and some broken glass.

"Come here, Riley." Blaine and I used as much strength as we had left to pull ourselves into a hug right there on the ground. "We're going to get out of here. Tonight."


	2. Chapter 2

Blaine pulled his phone out of his pocket and started to dial someone's number when we heard the door slam open.

"And one more thi… Who do you think you're calling? Your fag of a boyfriend? I don't think so." Dad grabbed Blaine's phone out of his hand and threw it against the wall. He pulled his arm up and gave Blaine's face one last punch with so much force behind it that Blaine was knocked unconscious. He turned and looked at me now, "If you are so willing to stand up for your brother then I would suggest getting him into his bed before things get really ugly." Dad walked over to the fridge and grabbed a beer before walking into the front room and turning on some Friday night college football game.

I grabbed Blaine by the hands and dragged him into his bedroom. He looked so helpless with blood dripping from the cut under his eye and his face was so swollen he was almost unrecognizable. I silently snuck into the bathroom and got a damp washcloth and went back to Blaine's room to clean up his face before I tried my very best to get him up into his bed. At the first touch of the washcloth to his face I saw his eyes flutter before weakly opening.

"Riley, I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have done that. I could have handled it by myself."

"Blaine. Stop. That's what sisters are for but you better get in bed before Dad hears us talking and decides that he hasn't had enough." I quickly finish wiping off the blood before Blaine crawled in his bed. I walk over to his door and turn off the light.

"Ri, can you please stay with me tonight? I don't want you in there alone. I need to make sure you're safe."

"Sure thing. Let me just change into my pajamas." We both knew that I didn't actually need to change into my pajamas; I just needed an excuse to grab my baby blanket off of my bed. I got that blanket the day I was born and had never slept a night without it. It had gotten me through some really rough times, but nothing even came close to what I went through tonight. I walked back into Blaine's room just seconds later before I crawled into his bed and into his arms.

I woke up the next morning in more pain than I even thought was possible. My face was killing me and I could already tell how swollen it was because I could literally see my cheek out of the bottom of my eye and my back hurt from getting slammed to the ground. I rolled over to see how bad Blaine was but he wasn't there. All I saw was a note:

Riley,

When I woke up today Dad was already gone. I know you really wanted to meet Kurt so I am going to bring him over this afternoon if Dad is still away. I will call you before we come to make sure. Everything is going to be okay. I love you.

Blaine

I rolled out of bed and walked awkwardly into the kitchen, opened the freezer, and grabbed a bag of frozen peas for my face. After about two minutes I decided that I couldn't hold off looking at myself in the mirror anymore. I slowly walked into the bathroom with my eyes purposefully pointed down at the counter. I could see that Blaine's makeup from the last play he was in was sitting out. I suppose he tried to cover up the bruises on his face before going to meet Kurt. I took a deep breath before finally forcing my eyes to meet themselves in the mirror. I looked like I had gone to hell and back. My eye was still swollen and the rest of my face was completely covered in bruises. My right cheek, as I suspected, was swollen. I looked down at my wrist where a perfect hand shaped bruise resided from when Dad took hold of it. Looking closer at my face I noticed that I had mini cuts all under my eyes from when Dad's knuckles broke some of my skin. I can only imagine what Blaine looks like this morning. I had gotten the easy side of things.

I ran back to my room and grabbed my phone from the book I had it resting on last night when Blaine had come in to talk to me. I sent Blaine a quick text telling him that I was alright and Dad still wasn't home. He replied simply with an, "I love you. See you later." and I knew that he was just happy to be with Kurt right now.

I grabbed the remote for the TV and began to watch all of my recorded TV shows I had missed during the week from being busy with homework or choir practice. I was able to get through How I Met Your Mother, Greys Anatomy, and Criminal Minds before I heard the door open.

"Blaine, is that you? Where's Kurt?" Judging by the quickening of the heavy footsteps and the loud scream that I heard from the mudroom I could tell I had made a mistake.

"You mean to tell me that your brother is out with that boyfriend of his right now? And he plans on bringing him back here?" I quickly searched for the right response.

"No, Dad. Umm… I… was…." Stupid Riley, stupid.

I could feel a fistful of my hair get yanked back until my neck couldn't stretch any further.

"Don't lie to me Riley. You know how I feel about lying." He slammed my head against the back of the couch before walking around in front of me and grabbing my wrist in the exact same spot the bruise laid from last night. "Did you learn nothing from last night? I don't appreciate it when people lie to me Riley." He began dragging me into the kitchen and I couldn't help the sudden quickening of my breath when I started to panic. The sink is full of soapy water; obviously mom's attempt to keep a normal morning routine by washing last night's dinner dishes had not worked for her. Dad slammed me up against the sink, one of my ribs hit the counter with a loud crack, and he grabbed the back of my head until my face was an inch away from the water. "Now, where is your brother?" Don't rat him out Riley. You are stronger than that. Blaine is all you have.

"I don't know." Dad pushed my face under water for a good thirty seconds before grabbing me by the hair and pulling my head out. God, maybe you were too busy helping someone else last night but I really need your help. Make him stop.

"Where is your brother!"

"I don't know." He pushed my head into the water again, holding it in just a little longer. God, am I not enough for you to save? This time when Dad pulled my head out from under the sink I began to cough. Soap had crept its way into my throat and I was choking on it. I could no longer tell if it was water from the sink or tears that were streaming off of my face and dripping down into the sink but at this point it didn't matter. Nothing did.

"I am going to ask you one more time. Where is your brother?" He enunciated each word so clearly and with each word his voice dropped a little. God, by now I know you don't exist.

"I'm not going to tell you." And with that answer came the longest punishment of all. I don't remember when Dad let me breathe again, or even what happened up until he left. All I knew is that many minutes later I woke up alone, and dripping wet on the kitchen floor.

I used all my strength to roll onto my side because with each cough came a soapy water spilling out of my mouth. Finally, I was able to gain enough strength to push myself up onto my knees. I was lying in a huge puddle of water and soaked from head to toe. What had Dad done to me? I quickly checked my phone in my pocket. It wouldn't turn on so I popped off the battery on the back and saw that the circle they always put to test water damage was bright pink. My phone was ruined.

The front door slammed open and I winced at the thought that Dad had come back for me. But the footsteps didn't match the sound of my Dad's boots.

"RILEY? Riley, where are you?" Blaine came running around the corner until he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw me. His face actually looked close to normal; mental note: get stage makeup like Blaine's. Not even two seconds after Blaine spotted me two other people came running behind him. One was a soft faced teenage boy, my guess was Kurt, but also an older man wearing a baseball cap.

"Riley. What happened? I tried calling you to tell you that I was on my way but your phone was off."

"Blaine. I made a mistake. Dad came home earlier and I thought it was you. So I shouted something about wanting to meet Kurt and he lost it again. I'm so sorry Blaine. It's going to be really bad when he sees you again. I'm so sorry."

"Riley, don't worry about it. Right now Burt, Kurt, and I are here to get you." And before I could say anything else the strange man in the baseball cap was picking me up and carrying me out of the apartment. "I'm going to grab some of our things. I won't be gone more than five minutes Ri. I will meet you in the car." And with those words I was whisked away down the hall. I could hear the man talking to his son about me.

"We have to get her to the hospital. He really messed her up."

"Dad, you get her into the car, I'm going to go see if Blaine needs any help."

That is the last thing I remember before slipping back into the unconscious.


	3. Chapter 3

BLAINE:

I couldn't stand to watch my little sister lying in a hospital bed because of me. I listened to the beeping of her damn heart monitor over and over like it was supposed comfort me but I just wanted to pick to the stupid machine up and throw it against the wall. This was entirely my fault; Riley wouldn't be here if I could have just kept my mouth shut.

The memories of that night flooded into my head. I remember the panicked look on Riley's face as Dad threw his empty beer bottle and she began to realize how bad it was going to get. I tried to protect her but I was a failure. As I pictured that night I closed my eyes just like Riley did when Dad started to punch the hell out of me. I knew those were images that I could never help erase from her head. I had worked so hard for a whole year to never let Dad hurt Riley the way he had hurt me; I had worked so hard to make sure she never figured out the full extent of what Dad had done to me, she didn't need to live with that kind of fear. I even started sleeping in her bed every night to make sure that he wouldn't come sneaking in there and hurt her. All that hard work had been put to waste within two minutes because I selfishly wanted Kurt to know me and where I come from.

My mind began to wander to when I had found her the next morning on the kitchen floor. She was bent over in a huge puddle of water with so much fear in her eyes it sent a punch to my stomach. I hadn't gotten the chance to ask her what had happened with Dad and why she was lying in water but I doubt she would remember based on the degree of her concussion. Hell, I don't even remember what items I was able to slam into the two duffle bags before Kurt pulled me out of the apartment to get Riley to the hospital. Reaching up over the bed I grabbed her hand and gave it a light squeeze the way I had for so many years now, the only difference is that she didn't squeeze back.

Riley and I had always kind of been on our own. I mean, our dad hadn't ever hurt either of us until last year but he always had a temper, and Mom never did anything to stop it. My mind lingered over my favorite memory of being with Riley: For her eighth birthday and all she wanted was a Barbie. Mom and Dad had gotten her some nail polish thinking she would really like it, but I knew better. The day before her birthday I stole twenty dollars from my mom's purse then snuck out to the store and bought the prettiest Barbie I could find. After her birthday celebration was over and everybody was in bed I snuck into her room and gave it to her. I had never seen her face light up the way it did when she opened that present. That was the day I knew I would do anything to make her happy. The next day my parents found out about me steeling the money and my dad yelled at me. Riley never touched that Barbie ever again.

"Hey honey, how are you doing?" The sound of Carole's voice made me jump back to the present.

"I've been better." Riley had been in the hospital for two days now. Yesterday she was rushed into x-rays and all these scans that I didn't understand the name of. She had a sprained wrist, a broken rib, and a serious concussion, all because of me and my big mouth.

"Kurt was hoping he could talk to you."

"I can't leave her right now. What if she wakes up? I don't want her to be alone." Riley had just come out of surgery.

"That's why I'm here. I will call you if she wakes up."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

I stood up with tears filling my eyes and kissed Riley's forehead before heading out to meet Kurt in the hallway Carole stopped to pull me into a hug. I could feel her warm hands rubbing up and down my back and wondered if all mothers did that when they were trying to comfort someone; mine never did. When I reached Kurt in the hall he didn't have to say anything to me; I just fell into his arms with my head buried in his shoulder before I started sobbing.

"Kurt, this is all my fault."

"Blaine, honey, don't ever think that. How were you supposed to predict that your dad was going to lose his mind?" My stomach rose into my throat in guilt. I had known exactly what was going to happen when I told my parents about Kurt. It had happened one year ago, too. But back then I was able to protect my sister. Last night I had failed. "Besides, you don't have to worry about your dad anymore. My dad finally got through to child services and they agreed that because you and Riley are old enough to make the decision on your own as to who you want to live with. My dad is setting the house up as we speak."

"Kurt," I was trying so hard to fight the lump in my throat. "That is really very nice of you and your family. But I can't just ask you to move aside and make room for two more people in your house. Plus, I don't like the idea of Riley having to stay in a house with so many people. She is going to be really fragile."

"That is already taken care of too. Finn has been talking with Rachel and her dads have agreed to let Riley stay with them. And don't even try to argue with me it is already set up."

"But, I don't want to be away from her. She is going to need me, now more than ever."

"Look, Finn goes over to Rachel's house all the time anyway. You can just go with him in the mornings before school and come back at night, or the other way around. Really the only time that you two would be away from each other is when you're sleeping."

I had never told Kurt about what happened with my dad a year ago, therefore I had also not told Kurt about how I was always sneaking into Riley's room and sleeping in her bed to make sure that she was safe. Being apart at night might be the worst part for her. But I knew that I couldn't protect her for forever. Maybe this was the first step.

"Thank you, Kurt." I looked up at Kurt and kissed him. Feeling his soft warm lips gently pressed against mine made my heart warm. It was exactly what I needed right now; just to know that someone was there for me even though I couldn't be there for my own sister. The kiss was gentle and loving but felt very different, there was a sort of vulnerability behind it. I pulled away only to wrap my arms around Kurt and hug him again. He pulled me tight and we just stood there intertwined in each other's arms for several minutes.

"Blaine. She's waking up." Carole's voice was faint, but I heard her and immediately ran to Riley's bed.

I grabbed Riley's hand and watched as she slowly opened her eyes and looked around the room trying to make sense of where she was. She stopped moving only when she saw me.

"Hey, you." That lump in my throat stopped my words as tears began to fall openly down my face. I hated seeing my little sister like this; she was in a hospital gown with her head completely covered in wrap. Her face was still cut up, although, the bruises had turned from a dark purple to more of a green color now. Her eye was the worst part of what I could see. Every time I looked at her eye I could distinctly remember how hard our father had hit her. The memory of her falling so helplessly to the ground replayed in my head and all I could think is that she was trying to save me.

"Blaine," her voice was so weak it made me feel sick, "Blaine, where am I? What happened? Where is Dad?"

"Riley, it's okay. You're in the hospital. It's all over now." I wasn't sure which statement of mine confused her more; the fact that she was in the hospital or that it was all over. "Burt, Kurt, and I came and got you from home after Dad had come after you. You've been in surgery and in recovery for a couple of days."

"But where is Dad? He is going to be so pissed."

"Riley. Burt got us out of there. We never have to see him again." I couldn't exactly identify the look on her face. But that look didn't matter because I could see her trying to put her arms out to hug me. I sat down next to her and pulled her into a tight hug. She winced in pain.

"Oh. I'm so sorry, Riley. I completely forgot that he broke your rib." I let her go and let her fall back onto the pile of pillows the nurses had prepared for her after her surgery. I sat on the chair next to her bed and I did my best to answer all of her questions. Kurt and his family went to wait in the waiting room.

Two days later Riley was released from the hospital under the order of only getting out of bed to take a twenty minute walk every hour to make sure her torso was getting enough movement, but not too much, so her rib could heal properly. I felt bad when we drove up to Rachel's house because I realized that she had only met Rachel once or twice when she and I were planning a surprise party for Kurt's birthday last month.

"Blaine. Are you going to come in with me?" I could tell that Riley was trying so hard to stay strong but was completely terrified of staying in a house away from me.

"Of course, Ri. I won't leave you until everything is all settled here. Then I gotta go to Kurt's and get everything settled with social services. Remember?"

"Ya, I know. Just don't leave me yet."

I walked around the car and helped her out of her seat. Together she and I walked up to the front door where Rachel was waiting for us. Riley hadn't let go of my hand.

"Hey, Riley. It's nice to see you again." Rachel was sweet as always as she hugged us both and opened the door and invited us into her home. Kurt walked up a few minutes after us with Riley's small duffle bag of belongings I was able to grab for her that day. It wasn't much at all but Rachel was more than willing to share her things considering the circumstances.

"She is staying in the guest room in the basement, right?" Kurt wasn't addressing me but his voice still helped settle my nerves and sent butterflies throughout my stomach. Rachel nodded and Kurt walked past us and reached up and gave my arm a quick supportive squeeze. The three of us turned and followed Kurt down the stairs into her basement.

I saw the stage and the couches that had been a part of my foggy memories from the night Kurt brought me to Rachel's party and I had gotten drunk and spent the night at Kurt's house. Kurt walked into the bedroom across the basement before quickly exiting to come meet the three of us.

"I think you two should go in and get her settled before we leave. My dad is talking to the social services people right now but they are going to need you Blaine in about half an hour."

"Right. Okay." I gave Kurt a quick kiss and walked with Riley into her new room. I had expected it to be completely over the top like Rachel, but the colors and the way it was decorated was actually really calming. The walls were a light brown color with a deep red accent from the comforter on the bed. There was, of course, a bright pink bedazzled iHome setting on the night stand, an obvious choice of Rachel.

Riley and I spent the next twenty minutes in silence as I helped her unpack the few things in her duffle bag and hang some clothes in the closet. It reminded me of the many nights Riley and I would quietly escape to one of our rooms after Dad blew up. Neither of us would say anything as we both occupied ourselves with tiny unnecessary tasks; she and I just needed to be alone together. There was a light tap on the door before Kurt poked his head through.

"Hey, Blaine. I hate to do this but it is time to leave."

"Okay, just let me say goodbye, then we can go." The door closed with a quiet click and I turned to look at Riley. She had tears streaming down her face and she ran across the room and pulled me into a hug.

"I will call you as soon as I'm done with social services. Okay?"

"You promise?" She sniffled from her tears. I just wish there was something I could do for her to make everything better. Her life had changed so much in the last week and it was literally all my fault.

"I promise." I gave her forehead a light kiss before walking over to the door. "Don't be afraid to call for any reason, even if it is the middle of the night. I can be here in ten minutes, okay? I love you."

"Okay. I love you, too."

I turned and walked out of the room hearing the click behind me.

"Rachel, do me a favor and…"

"Don't worry, Blaine. I will be here."

I grabbed Kurt's hand; I had used all my energy to stay strong for Riley and now I knew that Kurt was here to stay strong for me. Kurt and I walked hand in hand up the stairs with Rachel following behind us.

I gave a quick "Thank you" to Rachel and her dads one more time before Kurt and I got in the car and drove away. I didn't take my eyes off the house until we turned the corner toward Kurt's house.


	4. Chapter 4

I finished up with the guy from social services, although, I barely understood any of what he was saying. Most of the meeting consisted of me looking up to Burt for advice and he would nod or shake his head until he was satisfied with a decision, I trust him. The only thing that I knew was completely clear was that Riley and I were transferring from our old schools to McKinley starting Monday.

As promised, I called Riley when I finished up with social services. I decided it would be better for me not to tell her about transferring tonight; that was better left to tomorrow in person when I could be there. It was only seven o'clock but she said she would just crawl in bed for the night and I knew that I wasn't far behind her. The only problem was that I had come straight home to social services that I had no idea where my bed would be in the Hudson-Hummel house. Burt certainly wasn't going to let me stay in Kurt's room, he wouldn't even let us watch a movie in there with the door shut, but the rest of the family was in lounging around on the couch in the living room right now leaving me with no options for a bed.

"Hey kiddo, how did the call go with your sister? Is she doing okay over there?"

"I think so, she didn't say much. I just think this whole thing is really overwhelming for her. She only told me that she was going to go to bed in just a few minutes."

"That's probably smart. It has been a long day for her, and she needs the rest so she can heal. Finn, Carole, and Kurt are in watching something on the T.V. right now if you want to go join them."

If I couldn't go to bed right now, the second best option was to go cuddle close to Kurt in the living room and hope to fall asleep on his shoulder. Burt and I walked in together and Kurt immediate opened his arms for me to climb in. That was the reason that I loved him so much; he understood me. I didn't need someone to tell me everything was going to be okay, or try to force me to talk about things; I just needed someone to be there for me. And Kurt knew that.

I sat with my legs curled over his lap and my head resting gently in the crook of his neck. They were watching Transformers, obviously it was Finn's decision, and I knew I could quickly drift into sleep during this movie.

Just as I was about to close my eyes I could feel Kurt's phone begin to vibrate in his pocket. I shifted to the side to allow him to grab it and when he looked at the screen I watched his eyes grow wide with panic. He glanced over at me before immediately swiping the answer bar on the bottom of the iPhone and putting it up to his ear.

"Rachel? Is everything okay?" Shit. Something had happened with Riley. I quickly pulled out my phone remembering it was on silent. Four missed calls. Without even thinking I grabbed the phone from Kurt's hand and ran out of the room.

"Rachel! Did something happen to Riley? Is she hurt? What's going on?"

"Blaine! I didn't want to freak you out, but Riley won't stop crying and asking for you. Something about a blanket I think."

"Put her on." My voice sounded cold and it even scared me, but on the other end of the line I could hear the phone being passed and sniffles began to fill the receiver.

"Blaine, I can't find my blanket! I can't sleep without my blanket! What am I supposed to do? I think Dad would have ruined it by now!" Somewhere between the medication, the lack of sleep, and the overwhelmingness of her new life Riley had slipped into hysterics.

"Ri, I know I unpacked it for you today. Did you check on the bed?" But as much as I tried to help I had just caused her to go even deeper into a panic. "Riley. I'll be right there, okay?"

"You promise?" I knew there was so much more than just a simple promise for me to come over behind that question. That one question had been the defining question of her and my relationship since before Riley was even born.

"I promise."

Kurt already had the car running and my coat ready when I hung up the phone. I've never seen him drive so quickly, but within eight minutes of hanging up the phone I was frantically knocking on the Berry's front door.

One of her dads answered I said a quick "Hello" before running down the stairs to the basement. Riley was sitting on the couch with her head buried in her knees and Rachel was sitting next to her rubbing her back, clearly at a loss of what to do anymore when she looked up and saw me.

"Blaine! Oh, thank goodness." At my name Riley looked up and ran across the room to me before wrapping me so tightly in her arms I couldn't even move.

"Blaine! It's gone! What am I going to do?"

"Riley," I was able to shake her arms looser so I could hug her back, "First of all, you shouldn't be running around like this, the doctor said you need to stay in bed or sitting down for a few more days." I walked her back to sit next to Rachel, "Now, I know I packed your blanket. It was the first thing I grabbed. Did you check on the bed?"

"Yes." She sniffled but I could tell she was starting to calm down now that I was there. "And I checked in the closet and I triple checked the duffle bag to make sure it didn't get left in there. It's not here Blaine."

"Let me go check. Rachel, do you have any tea you can make for her?"

"Yes, of course I do." Rachel turned and quickly ran up the stairs thankful to be able to do something helpful.

I walked into the bedroom and I could tell that Riley's panic had started in here. The bed covers were thrown on the floor and the clothes that I had hung nicely in the closet were now lying on the bed. I shook the comforter a few times to double check before crossing over to the dresser. Most of the drawers were empty because I wasn't able to grab nearly enough clothes to fill it so searching through them wouldn't be that hard.

Rachel had come back down with tea for Riley and they both sat on the couch while I searched. After making it through all the drawers of the dresser I began to panic a little thinking that maybe I had forgotten the blanket, or it had been put in my bag back at the Hudson-Hummel house. Just as I was about to go break my sisters heart once more I remembered exactly where I had unpacked the blanket. Funny how mistaking the blanket for a towel could cause so much emotion and stress in her life, it just proved to me how much I had broken her.

I walked out into the living room with her blanket in my hand. She had finished her tea and was talking to Rachel.

"You see, my grandma gave me the blanket the day I was born and I have never slept a night without it. Like, ever. I used to get teased for bringing it to sleepovers, so I stopped going to birthday parties and stuff. I don't know what it is about it…" she trailed off when she saw me and looked at the blanket in my hand. "You found it? Oh, thank you, Brother!"

"It was in with your towels, silly me."

"It's okay, as long as Dad doesn't have it." She yawned as she pulled away from my hug.

"Hey Ri, maybe you should go to bed. It's been a long day and I'm sure your medication isn't making it any easier." Her eyes were suddenly panicked all over again as she thought about having to go to bed without me there to protect her. "I'll stay until you fall asleep. How does that sound?"

"You promise?"

"I promise."

She went into her room to change into her pajamas as I quickly ran upstairs remembering that Kurt was waiting for me. I told him to give me just a few more minutes before I went back down to Riley's room.

She was pulling back the covers when I got there. I sat on the side of her bed and gave her a little back rub until I could hear the sound of her deep breathing take over. I got up to turn off the lights when I turned back to look at her one more time. She was thirteen years old, fourteen next week, and she had already been through so much. The bruising on her face was now barely visible and her eye was almost completely back to normal. She had a huge bump on the back of her head, presumably from when Dad smacked it against the couch, and the bandages that were wrapped around her stomach were poking out the bottom of her shirt. I silently walked over and pulled the comforter so it completely covered her broken body before turning off the lights and heading back upstairs. Everything here was safe and I knew she would make it through the night okay. Finn was coming over here in the morning to pick Rachel up for school and I would come over then too and spend the day with her, but for now I knew she was safe and that is all the comfort I needed.

Kurt and I spent the drive home in silence while he rubbed soft circles on the back of my hand with his thumb. We pulled up to his house and he quickly got out of his seat and crossed over to my side. I opened my door and walked right into his waiting arms. He softly kissed my forehead and it gave me butterflies.

"It's been a long day for her. Thank you for coming with me."

"It's been a long day for both of you." He said as I yawned into his chest. "Maybe it's time you go to bed too?"

"I would love to Kurt, but your family is in watching their movie so I have nowhere to sleep."

"My dad said you can spend tonight in my room with me. But he was very clear that he would only allow it tonight. He understands how much you are going through." At his words I pulled away from our hug to look up at him; he was being serious.

"Well, in that case," I grabbed his hand again and we walked through the front door, "I would love to go to bed right now. But only if you'll come, there is something I have to tell you."

I had been so concentrated on making sure I packed everything that Riley needed I had somehow skipped over a lot of my necessities, like pajamas. Kurt had given me an old t-shirt of his and Carole had managed to find an old pair of Finn's sweat pants. I should have felt ridiculous in the clothes that practically drown my body but I was too nervous about telling Kurt. I knew that I needed to tell Kurt about my dad and what had happened a year ago, but what if he hated me for not telling sooner? What if he started to blame what happened to Riley on me too? There is no possible way he could understand my reasons for keeping things quiet… but I owed him at least that much. I owed him and his family so much more but I decided to start with baby steps.

Once Kurt had gotten changed into his pajamas and we both said goodnight to the rest of his family we went upstairs to his room. Kurt shut the door behind him while I walked over and crawled in his bed. The memories started through my head as Kurt's scent began to rush all around me from the covers and pillows on his bed. All the movies we had tried to watch that just turned into make-out sessions, or all the days I would come over and he would work on his homework and I would work on mine, or just the times I told him about the Warblers and he had told me about New Directions. They were the memories of me falling in love with Kurt.

He came over and got into bed next to me leaving the lamp on his nightstand on. He opened his arms and I scooted over so my head was resting on his chest and we were holding each other.

"So, what is it you wanted to tell me?" I tensed because as much as I had laid in bed for the past three months practicing how I was going to tell him, I had suddenly gone blank. My mind was frantically searching for words.

"Well… you see… I…" I paused to take a deep breath and flip over so I was sitting crisscross applesauce on his bed. "I haven't been honest with you about my dad. A few days ago wasn't the first time he has done something like that." I took the time to look up from the comforter and into Kurt's eyes. I was expecting them to be cold and hard but his eyes were encouraging. This would have been much harder for me if Kurt and I hadn't already shared so much of our lives. Taking another breath I continued on. "A year ago, when I came out to my parents my dad didn't react so well to that either. Luckily, I was able to get Riley out of the room before things started to get bad. It started off with just a slap, but things began to get worse very quickly." I could feel the tears begin to well up in my eyes and I felt Kurt's hand slip into mine and he began to rub small circles along the back of my hand again. Letting the tears fall down my cheek I fought past the lump in my throat, "He brought me into the kitchen away from my mom and sister before he began to yell things at me about how I used to be his son and I was just a waste of space now. I started crying right there in front of him and he told me that he had raised me to be better than that so he pulled out the lighter from the kitchen drawer." I couldn't look up at Kurt, I was frozen staring down at the tiny designs in the comforter that I traced with my finger, "He pulled my shirt up so my back was exposed and pulled the flame down to my skin. He held it there and I could feel my skin forming a blister before he pulled it away. He kept doing that over and over and laughed loudly to himself. When he was finished he threw down the lighter, and walked out of the room." I had to choke back the tears before I could turn around and lift my shirt to show Kurt the scar. I heard Kurt gasp when I showed him what my dad had done. I couldn't see it now, but I had looked at it so many times before that I could perfectly picture it. That night my dad had burned the word "fag" onto my back. "I knew exactly how my dad was going to react when I told him about you and if I had been honest with Riley she would have known too, and maybe she wouldn't have gotten involved." I could feel hurt's warm hands start to touch my burns and I pulled away instinctively and turned back to face Kurt. My anger began to take over, "Kurt, Riley getting hurt is my fault. If I had just warned her more about Dad, or tried just a little harder to get her away she wouldn't be wrapped in bandages right now and sleeping in some girl's house who she barely knows. Or, better yet," I scoffed to myself, "If I had just freaking told someone a year ago her and I wouldn't have had to live in fear. We could be moved on by now and she never would have gotten hurt."

"And you never would have met me." Kurt's voice was quiet yet forceful. "Blaine, whatever happened to you a year ago and what happened to you and Riley a few days ago was not your fault and is never going to be your fault. Your dad is not a nice person and even if this did happen to you a year ago, you couldn't have known what was going to happen to Riley this time around. You need to stop blaming yourself."

"But it is Kurt. Why can't you see that? My little sister was put in the emergency room because of me. You can't even deny that."

"Blaine," he grabbed my face between his face and rested his forehead against mine, "You need to listen to me. If you hadn't told your dad about me then he would have found something else to go off about and who knows if you would have been there for Riley or not. It sucks that it happened, but if it had to happen I'm glad, and so is she, that you are here to help her through it."

I had no other defense for the night because I knew that Kurt would never understand what I was going through. So I let him think I had understood his words and sunk back down to lying on his chest.

"The night my dad did that to me I snuck into Riley's room in the middle of the night to sleep in her bed with her. I wanted to be there incase my dad found it fitting to go after her too. Every night since then I have spent with her either in my room or hers; that is until tonight."

"Blaine, I had no idea. If I had known I would have fought for you two to stay in the same house."

"No, don't worry about it. I know I can't protect her for forever. Getting her out of that house was the first step and letting her go is the second. You just helped me along the way."

Kurt once again knew that I didn't need to hear any reassuring words. He pulled me closer to him before placing his hand under my chin to lift my face to his.

"I love you." He placed a warm kiss on my lips. It wasn't needy or short and it wasn't sloppy or too clean either; it was perfect. It made my heart grow and my stomach do flips. It made me fall in love with Kurt even more.

Once I was completely sure he was asleep I quickly crawled off the bed to my duffle bag where I grabbed my phone out of my jeans pocket and my iPod and headphones. I quietly turned on the music and let myself slowly drift into slumber.


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning I left with Finn and Kurt to go to Rachel's house where they would then go to school and I could take care of Riley for the day. When we arrived at her house I gave Kurt one last kiss before hopping out of the car towards the open front door where Rachel's dad's waited for me.

"How is she doing?"

"She said she was sore this morning, but that is understandable. Other than that she looks a lot better than she did yesterday. I think the sleep helped a lot." I gave them a quick nod before walking into their house towards the stairs where I saw Rachel sitting on the top step. I heard a faint song being sung and thought for sure it was just a part of Rachel's usual morning routine of waiting for Finn to come pick her up but when she turned and smiled at me the song continued.

"How come you never told me that your sister has such a beautiful voice?" I hadn't realized until then that the singer was Riley. I had never heard my sister sing, well, not for real. My brain quickly flashed back to when Riley was four years old and she and I would play 'Ring Around The Rosy' for hours. That is the only time I have legitimately heard my sister's voice. She never got any solos in choir and wouldn't dare sing around the house.

_Now she's showing me mercy as much as she can,_

_She's letting me live with my demons._

_She's washing her hands and she's walking away,_

_Oh but still she looks back, she looks back_

_While she's leaving, she leaving._

I sat down next to Rachel and closed my eyes while I took in my sister's voice. She really did sound amazing. I knew exactly what song she was singing; she and I had a special connection with The Script ever since we went to see them in concert last year.

_When you've forgiven but you can't forget,_

_It feels like you're drowning but you've still got breath._

_And we've been trying to lay these ghosts to rest,_

_Oh but there ain't no getting out of this mess._

I let the lyrics sink through my skin as I closed my eyes.

_What's done is done, can't resurrect a setting sun _

_ What's done is done, oh you can't reverse a bullet from a gun_

_ What's done is done, can't resurrect a setting sun_

_ What's done is done, oh you can't reverse a bullet from a gun._

Finn came over behind us and Rachel stood up and kissed him. He tapped me lightly on the shoulder and said he would be back tonight. I stood up giving Rachel a hug and Finn a pat on the back before I went downstairs to meet Riley.

She was sitting on the edge of the stage with her head resting on her knees. I walked over sitting down next to her and pulled her over to lean against me.

"Hey, how are you feeling today?"

"I know." Her voice was quiet and I had to pull away from her to look at her to try to understand what she had just said. She didn't look away from her legs as the tears began to stream down her cheeks.

"What?"

There was a long pause before she spoke again, "I know. I know about what Dad did to you a year ago. I know about your… your scar." My mouth went dry and my brain couldn't think of how to form words. I just stared blankly at my sister. "That's why I did it. I know you blame yourself for my getting hurt, but I knew what I was getting into." She finally looked up to catch my eye. There was so much sadness that I lost my breath for a moment.

"How did you find out?" But halfway through my question Riley began to shake her head and face her knees again.

"No. I can't tell you that."

"Ri, you can tell me anything."

"What did the social services guy say last night?" When she looked up at me with the most pleading eyes I knew that I wasn't going to convince her to tell me today, so I went along with her topic change.

"I actually have to talk to you about that. How attached are you to your school?"

"We're transferring to McKinley." Surprisingly she didn't sound disappointed or sad, she just simply said it like she was stating a fact.

"Ya. I'm sorry, I know everything is changing so fast and it's a lot to handle but..."

"Brother, it's fine. I kind of figured that we couldn't expect them to get us to our schools."

I lightly squeezed her shoulder and she leaned back over onto me. "I was hoping that this would be a good chance for us to make a completely new start, you know? New home life, new friends, new glee club?" I paused for a second, "I heard you singing before I came down here. Good song." I could feel her tense against me but she didn't move to look up at me.

"Sometimes I just need to sing to get everything out. You taught me that."

"Ya, I guess we're kinda the same in that sense, huh?"

"I guess so." She smiled up at me as I wiped the tears from her cheek.

Her and I sat there in silence for a while both caught up in our own thoughts. Eventually both of Rachel's dads came downstairs and said they were leaving for work and would be back this afternoon and we were welcome to any of the food in the house, but we had to tell them if we were planning on leaving for anything. I knew that wasn't likely because Riley was still limited in her movement.

I made chicken nuggets for lunch, although I don't know if you could count them as real chicken nuggets because the only ones they had in the house were made of meat substitute, and sat Riley down to the table to eat.

"So, your birthday is in a week. What do you want?"

"Blaine…"

"Riley, don't even try to pull the 'I don't want anything because of everything that has happened' card. I'm your big brother and I am getting you something, now what do you want?"

She had to think for a long while before her eyes lit up with her idea, "How about you and I have one of our old brother sister dates again? We can go out to lunch and then to the mall? I know you tried really hard to get all the stuff I need from…." Riley's eyes dropped to the table for a second as she searched for the right word, "the apartment, but most of the clothes you grabbed were ones I don't like."

"That sounds perfect. Is there anything else?"

"Well, maybe you could spend the night here? We could stay up talking about how our first week of school went?"

"Done." Riley's eyes grew like the day she opened that Barbie. I smiled at her and she began to eat her lunch.

The next couple of days flew by in a similar pattern and before we both knew it the weekend was over.

I came home early on Sunday night to allow Riley and Rachel to talk about McKinley and I was glad that those two were getting along so well. I was able to spend the whole evening with Kurt. He and I were planning a small dinner party for Riley on Thursday for her birthday. Nothing big, just a dinner at the Hudson-Hummel place with all of New Directions, something to show her how many people in her life were here for her. I knew Riley didn't have many friends at her old school because Dad never allowed her to go out, and after everything that had happened she had insisted on breaking off all connections she had with her "old life". I was planning on spending Friday night at the Berry's house and she and I would go out Saturday for her birthday date so we could have the entire day together.

After the plans for the party were all laid out Kurt and I headed upstairs to his bedroom.

"Oh, I have the perfect shirt to go with those pants."

"Kurt, I love you and all, but I think I am perfectly capable of picking out my own clothes for school."

"I don't know," Kurt wrapped his hands around my waist and pulled me close to him so our foreheads were touching, "You were always in uniform at Dalton. Fashion is more than just red and blue, Mr. Anderson." He kissed me softly on the lips and I found my hand wrapping in his hair. He and I hadn't had much alone time over the past week because I had been too busy making sure everything with Riley was okay. I missed how it felt went he leaned in and kissed me. I pulled him closer to me and began to kiss him more passionately. We made our way over to his bed and things got even more heated. I could feel his hands go under my shirt and up my back pulling me desperately toward him. I obliged, of course, and started to pull his shirt up when I heard someone clear their throat at the door.

Kurt and I both jumped and looked over to find Burt standing in the doorway staring at us. I could feel my blood rush up through up neck to the tip of my ears.

"Uh, it's time for dinner."

"We'll be right there, Dad." Kurt answered with a shaky voice. Burt turned and walked out the door leaving us alone again. "Well, it was fun while it lasted." Kurt winked at me as he held his hand out and we walked down to dinner.

The rest of the night went by in a blur of embarrassment at dinner and nerves afterwards. Kurt went to bed at eleven as I took my rightful place on the couch. I put in my iPod and tried to let the music lull me to sleep like it usually did but I couldn't stop thinking about having to start at a new school. Not only am I coming from a private all boys school, but I was also coming into a school that I knew would be a living hell for me because I am gay. I may have gotten Riley out of the shit with Dad, but I was far from safe. I tried to distract myself with finding the perfect song for my audition for New Directions tomorrow. I pulled up The Script and began to listen to all of their songs. Somewhere in the middle of the song I had decided on I finally fell asleep.

I thought for sure I was going to throw up. I held Kurt's hand so tightly on the drive to school that I saw his fingers almost turn purple, even then I only barely loosened my grip on it, just enough so that I could see his fingers turning a normal color again.

"Blaine, you need to calm down."

"I can't. What if something happens to Riley?"

"Blaine, I'm sitting right next to you, I can hear what you're saying. And Kurt is right; you need to calm down." She gave a slight smile as she looked at our hands, "By the way, I think you are going to kill Kurt's hand if you don't let go." She laughed a little with Kurt and turned back to looking out the window. How was she so calm right now? Come to think of it, aside from my dad and any episodes he may have had over the years my sister was always very relatively calm.

"Aren't you nervous, Ri?" She shrugged her shoulders but didn't respond any more than that.

As we pulled into the parking lot I quietly whimpered to myself and I saw Riley and Kurt exchange a look before they both burst into laughter. I officially hate them both.

After hearing the stories Kurt had told me about the slushies and the shoving from the football team I expected my first day to be much worse than it really was. Riley and I had lockers right next to each other even though I never saw her during the day and I knew at least one person in each of my classes. I had three with Kurt which I was beginning to believe wasn't a coincidence because he had helped me forecast my classes, one with Finn and Puck, and one with Rachel. The curriculum was very similar to the one at Dalton so I didn't feel behind on anything and the homework load was actually very light for my first night. With only five minutes left in my last class I began to smile to myself knowing I had made it my first day without any mental breakdowns or run-ins with the football players. Then I remembered my audition for New Directions.

The nerves started all over again and I tapped my pencil faster and faster against the table. Rachel's hand reached over on top of mine to stop the noise. I looked at her and mouthed a quick "sorry".

As soon as the bell rand I practically ran out the door to find Kurt. I turned the corner too quickly and bumped right into him.

"Whoa, hey, was your last class that bad?"

I pulled him close to me in a hug, "No, I just missed you that's all." He returned the hug and very quickly pulled away while looking around the hall. A lot of people were staring; I was going to have to get used to not doing that around here.

"So, you ready for your audition?"

"Ready as I'll ever be."

"Come on then." I followed Kurt down the hall to the choir room. The first thing I noticed in the room was the change in atmosphere; everything was so much brighter and warmer in here. Riley was already in the room sitting between Rachel and Finn while Rachel rambled off very quickly to her, some sort of pointers for her audition I think, but Riley yet again looked perfectly content. Kurt sat down in the back row and I sat down right next to him.

Right as I was about to turn and ask Kurt for any last minute advice the director walked in the door.

"Alright everybody, in case you forgot we have Blaine and Riley Anderson with us here today to audition. So, let's get this party started."

"Kurt," I quickly turned and whispered in his ear, "Do they know about us? Like what happened with our dad?"

Kurt didn't respond with words, just a simple head-nod.

"Blaine," Mr. Shue was talking again, "You're up first?"

"Sure."

I walked to the front of the room and turned to face the room of my peers. I was a nervous mess and I'm sure I looked like bobble-head up there bouncing on my toes.

"Well, as I understand it, you all know about my dad and why my sister and I transferred here. It has been a tough week for us both so I wanted to dedicate this song to her." I looked at her with a smile and she was bright red and wouldn't make eye contact with me. I went through the intro in my head and I cleared my throat.

_I've been kicked right down I've been spat in the face_

_ I've been pulled, weighed down to the lowest place_

_ I've been lied to, shamed, I have been disgraced_

_ Been ex-communicated from every holy place_

_ I've been beat up, been robbed I've been left for dead_

_ For the way I look for the things I've said _

_ But when troubled thinks it's found us_

_ The world falls down around us_

_ I promise baby you won't ever feel a thing_

I could feel the eyes in the room shifting between my sister and me but at this point I couldn't look at her. I had my eyes fixed on the back wall and I would sometimes let them wander to look at Kurt. He would give me a slight smile and his eyes would light up making all my nerves melt away.

_Cause I will take it on the chin for you_

_ So lay your cuts and bruises over my skin_

_ I promise you won't feel a thing, no_

_ Cause everything the world can throw I'll stand in front I'll take the blow_

_ For you_

_ For you_

My nerves had vanished and I got complete wrapped up in the lyrics on the song. There were only two other people in the room that knew how true the next lines of lyrics were to my life. I heard everybody begin to sing harmonies and the band began to back me up.

_I've been put on the streets I've been left in the cold_

_ Had my dreams held up had them shot full of holes_

_ I've been laughed at, burnt, beat, the butt of the joke_

_ I've been lit up in flames I have gone down in smoke_

_ I've been stabbed in the back I've been promised the earth_

_ Tried to keep my head high for all I'm worth_

_ Outside our double glazing I know a war is raging_

_ I promise baby you won't ever, you won't ever feel a thing_

I finally struck up the courage to look at Riley and she has tears streaming down her face. They weren't tears of sadness though, they were tears of understanding.

_ Cause I will take it on the chin for you_

_ So lay your cuts and bruises over my skin_

_ I promise you won't feel a thing, no_

_ Cause everything the world can throw I'll stand in front I'll take the blow_

_ For you_

_ For you._

They all applauded loudly and Kurt stood up in the last row with the biggest smile on his face I had ever seen. I quickly ran up to hug him. He took my hand and we sat down.

"That was great, Blaine. Wow, you have an amazing voice. Are you ready Riley?"

She didn't say anything; she just stood up and took the same place I had just been standing. Now that I thought about it I was so worried last night about what song I would be singing today that I had completely forgotten to ask her if she needed help. My audition was over but my stomach twisted in knots yet again after thinking about how bad of a brother I was.

I watched as Riley looked around the room and I saw Rachel give her a slight nod.

"Like my brother said, you all kinda know about what is going on in our lives. This song is about that." She took a deep breath and her angelic voice began to sing.

_My hands are cold, my bodies numb_

_ I'm still in shock what have you done?_

_ My head is pounding my visions blurred_

_ Your mouth is moving I don't hear a word_

I recognized the song and my stomach sank. I grabbed Kurt's hand a little tighter and he put his arm around me for support.

_And I hurt so bad gotta search my skin for the entry point where love went in_

_ And ricocheted and bounced around, and left a hole when you walked out_

I could tell Kurt recognized the song now too because I could hear a tiny gasp come from his mouth.

_I'm falling through the doors of the emergency room_

_ Can anybody help me with these exit wounds?_

_ I don't know how much more love this heart can lose_

_ And I'm dying, dying from these exit wounds_

Her voice filled the room and echoed quietly off the walls. There was so much emotion in her voice and so much story behind her words that there was no way everybody in the room could understand the full meaning of it all. I watched different member's reactions to the chorus as they grabbed other people's hands or let their head sink down.

_Marks of battle, they still feel raw _

_ A million pieces of me on the floor_

_ I'm damaged goods for all too see_

_ Now who would ever want to be with me? _

_ I've got all the baggage, the drink the pills_

_ Ya this is living but without the will_

_ I'm backing out, I'm shutting down_

_ You left a hole when you walked out_

I saw tears streaming down Rachel and Quinn's faces and even Finn had to look away from her. Nobody joined in the background of her song and each breath she took left an eerie silence in the room.

_I'm falling through the doors of the emergency room_

_ Can anybody help me with these exit wounds?_

_ I don't know how much more love this heart can lose _

_ And I'm dying, dying from these exit wounds_

I couldn't take my eyes off Riley now as I watched her loose herself to the song. Tears were streaming down her face and she dropped to her knees

_Lose your clothes and show your scars, that's who you are_

_ Lose your clothes and show your scars, that's who you are_

_ Lose your clothes and show your scars, that's who you are_

_ Marks a battle, they still feel raw_

_ A million pieces of me on the floor._

As Riley finished the song there was no applause, there were no smiles, there was no sound. Complete silence consumed the room and she dropped her head to the floor and began to sob.


	6. Chapter 6

I had never in my life not known what was wrong with my sister but as she sat there sobbing on the ground I had no idea what was going on. Everyone's eyes were on me, including Kurt, and I was at a complete loss of what to do. Slowly I stood up and started to walk up to her but paused when I got to her side.

"Riley?" I squatted down and put my hand on her shoulder.

Immediately she looked up to me; her face was wet with tears and her eyes were completely bloodshot. The look in her eyes was somewhere between "I hate you" and "help me" I couldn't exactly tell. She pulled herself up and wrapped her arms around me. She didn't say anything, just began to sob again. I looked up to Kurt for help but he wasn't in his seat.

Kurt, Rachel, Finn, and the rest of New Directions were all getting up to come join Riley and me and the floor. It seemed really weird at first and I had to fight the urge to tell them to back off and leave us alone so I could protect my sister like so many times before, but I began to realize that this was their only way to help us right now. None of them knew what Riley and I were going through exactly and, therefore, didn't know how to help other than just being there for us. Kurt got down on his knees and wrapped his arms around both Riley and I and the rest of the group joined in on the group hug.

No words were said; it was just a group of kids, a group of friends, sitting together supporting each other.

This is more than I had ever asked God for.

I don't know how long we sat there before I heard Riley stop crying. Mr. Shue was the one to finally break the silence.

"Alright everybody, I think that is enough for today. Riley and Blaine, welcome to New Directions. You are all free to go whenever you may like. I will see you tomorrow."

One by one each member got up and went home. Soon only Finn, Rachel, Kurt, Riley, and I were left. Kurt stood with his arm around Riley and she held my hand on her other side.

"Finn, are you okay if I stay with Riley for a little bit today?" I had a lot of questions for Riley and I knew I couldn't ask her with everybody around.

"No, go home with Kurt. I want to stay with Rachel and Finn if that's okay with them?"

I didn't know what to do. Rachel and Finn both agreed to stay with Riley and I practically fell over. I felt like she had just ripped my heart out and stomped it to the ground. The three of them went out to the car leaving just Kurt and I in the room. I could feel the tears fill my eyes and one of them fell down my cheek. Kurt reached up with his gentle hand and wiped it away.

"This is what you wanted, remember, babe? For Riley to be less dependent on you."

"No, Kurt." My head fell to his shoulder and he pulled me into a hug. "I wanted to make sure she was okay to be on her own. I didn't want her to stop needing me." I felt so defeated by everything in my life. My father had defeated me and left a scar, my mother had left Riley and I to fend for ourselves long ago, and now even Riley was shutting me out. God, when will everything be back to… normal? It took me a moment before I realized that this was the new normal, at least until this arrangement fell apart too. I wasn't going to live with Riley again for a long time.

"Come on." Kurt pulled me towards the car, "Finn can drive us home and then I will make you some hot cocoa."

The rest of the night was spent in near silence. Kurt made us cocoa and we cuddled up on the couch. He sat running his hand through my hair while I laid my head on his lap staring up to the ceiling. I couldn't figure out what I had done in my life to deserve someone like Kurt. Even now I could see his big blue eyes watching over me, ready to protect me from anything else this shitty world was about to throw my way.

"Kurt," I was hesitant to ask the question that had been bouncing around my head, but I had to know the answer, "When is everything going to be back to normal?" I watched sadness sink into his eyes and he just watched my stomach rise and fall from my breathing for a while before he finally answered.

"It's going to be awhile, babe. Right now, you and Riley aren't even through the worst part, you're still wandering around in the aftermath of the storm." He grabbed me hand and made me sit up so I could face him. "I know that sounds terribly depressing, but it only hurts so badly right now because it is still happening. But I promise to be here every step of the way for both you and Riley, because I know how bad things are right now. I know that if I had you when my mom died, I would have wanted you there for me."

At the mention of his mother Kurt's shoulders shrunk. He and I had never talked about her; I only knew details of what happened because Rachel had told me. We sat there for a moment just looking into each other's eyes before Kurt pulled me into his arms. I laid my head on his chest and he rested his cheek on my hair. Silently my tears fell down my cheeks because I knew that I didn't deserve someone like Kurt in my life. I felt a tear fall from Kurt's face and land on the tip of my ear. I pulled away from him only so I could rest my forehead on his.

"I love you, Kurt. More than you will ever know."

There was a long pause before he responded.

"I love you, too. Forever, Blaine Anderson: I will love you forever."

I couldn't stop my heart from smiling when I looked into his blue eyes again. I pulled myself back into his chest and he and I sat in silence again; only this silence was a good silence because we knew that in that moment just being with each other meant more than words could ever describe.

Eventually Burt came home and Kurt went into the kitchen to tell him what was going on and where Finn was. I stayed on the couch.

I felt completely numb again. Did Riley really not need me anymore? What was she crying about today? Was she ever going to talk to me again? After the last thought I couldn't think about it anymore. I turned my mind off and stared at the wall.

Dinner came and went in silence, still no Finn.

Later that night I woke up on the couch to someone shaking my shoulders.

"Kurt?"

"No, man, it's me." Finn's voice filled my head and I was suddenly much more awake.

"How is Riley? Did something happen? Did she tell you anything about today? Does she hate me?"

"Blaine, hey, calm down. I just wanted you to know that she is okay. When I left she was getting ready to go to her room for the night."

"Did she talk about what happened today? I bet I did something wrong."

"No, not at all. I mean, she never said anything; we didn't talk about today at all. She just asked us questions about glee club and stuff. I never met her before any of this, dude, but she seemed like everything was completely back to normal. Rachel even said so herself. She was a lot more talkative than last week and even asked Rachel to help her with some dancing for glee."

"Thanks, Finn, that's great. I am glad that she has some sort role model in her life."

"It's no problem. I am glad to help with anything." Finn pulled me into an awkward hug before getting up and going upstairs.

I pulled my phone up to my eyes and saw that it was ten thirty. I might as well just go to bed now. I set my alarm and pulled up a new message to Riley. She and I had so many code phrases for things that we couldn't say in front of our Dad so I rummaged through my head finding the right one for tonight: **What's the one thing you'll never forget? **I hit send and pulled the covers up around me. I would talk to Riley eventually about what happened today, but for now I needed to let her work things out on her own while I got used to not having to be there for her all the time. A lot of things were changing now and I am so lucky that I have Kurt to help me through it all.

My phone vibrated and I quickly flipped it open: NEW MESSAGE FROM: RILEY ANDERSON **You too. **I smiled a little before I let the thought of sleep take over my body.

That night my dream wasn't a dream at all but rather a memory of mine: It was the night before my thirteenth birthday, Riley was eleven, and Mom and Dad had just gotten in a huge yelling match and sent Riley and I to our rooms. I, of course, just went to Riley's room with her. We were lying on the bed staring at the ceiling.

"Blaine," her voice was so soft and innocent, "I don't want you and I to ever fight like them, okay?"

"We won't, don't worry."

"You promise?"

"I promise." There was a long pause before I could think of the right thing to say to my scared sister, "I love you, Riley. I will always love you. Never forget that, okay?"

"Okay."

"What's the one thing you'll never forget?"

"That you love me." And a smile crossed her face. "And Blaine?"

"Ya?"  
>"You too."<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

Riley and I barely spoke the next day at school; the only thing we talked about was her party on Thursday night at the Berry house because I wanted to make sure she was still up for it. She was.

Not talking to her was a lot harder than I thought it would be but I had Kurt and party planning to help distract me. Tuesday's glee rehearsal only taught me two things; 1) Finn was horrible at dancing and 2) I was horrible at dancing. He found comfort that he wasn't alone in the bad dancer category and I found a new motivation to practice.

After rehearsal was over Kurt and I went home and immediately got to planning the party.

"Okay, so I have talked to Mr. Berry and he said I can use his kitchen to cook. What is Riley's favorite food?"

"Chicken strips." I was very confident in my answer and Kurt looked at me with a funny expression.

"Chicken strips?" He was trying to not to start laughing.

I smiled at him and wrapped my arms around his waist while I looked for the right words to explain the simplicity.

"Do you remember when you were little and you got to go out to eat? And it was so exciting because it was just something that was different?" Kurt smiled and nodded silently. "Well, for us when we were little we liked going out to eat because it was a guaranteed time that our parents couldn't yell." I'm sure Kurt expected me to start to break down because he wrapped his arms around my neck but the truth is that things like that were just a part of Riley and my childhood, there was nothing to be sad about. "Riley would always get chicken strips. As we got older the times we got to go out became lesser and lesser. It's kind of a thing we have, chicken strips."

"You guys have a lot of things, don't you? Like just little sayings and looks between you and Riley."

"When you grow up in a house like we did you don't have a choice."

I got up on my tiptoes to give Kurt a kiss. I felt his arms tighten around my neck.

"We should back to planning this party."

"Oh no," I snuck my words in between kisses, "You're not getting off that easy."

I pulled him over to the couch and forced myself onto his lap. My hands ran wildly through his hair grabbing at every strand I could reach. His hands slid down my sides and around my back and he was pulled me closer to him. Being with Kurt made my head spin. I could feel all the problems in my life disappear, even if it is only for a moment. Because when you're with someone you love everything that you encounter in life is worthwhile, even if it is bad, because you know that at the end of the day you have someone who is going to be there for you.

But all too soon Kurt's hands pushed me away and our lips parted.

"Seriously Blaine, I don't want to have to tell your sister that we couldn't plan her party because we were too busy making out." His lips were pink and his hair was a mess. Oops.

"Fine," I gave my biggest attempt at a pouty face, "Let's go." And I pulled him off the couch giving him one last kiss before we went back to the kitchen.

The next two days passed slowly and I tried to stay concentrated on my school work but between Kurt, Riley, and planning this party that just seemed impossible. I was really worried that Riley was going to have a rough time having a birthday not only away from home but also so close to everything in our lives changing that she would have a horrible day but Rachel didn't let that happen.

She lent her a beautiful outfit to wear to school and that day in glee we sang whatever songs she wanted. Everything was going perfectly.

Seven o'clock rolled around and we gave the okay to go down to the basement and get Riley for her party. Everybody was there to be with her on her special day. I was afraid that it would be awkward because she was only turning fourteen and she was so young compared to the rest of the group, but they were all her friends now, even after only four days of knowing them.

I heard a scream from downstairs and panic struck me but it was immediately followed by laughter. Puck and Finn thought that Riley should have a grand entrance to her birthday party so they decided to lift her up between them and they carried her up the stairs. She was laughing so hard there were tears streaming down her face.

I felt Kurt's arm wrap around my waste and he pulled me close to his side.

"See? Look at that, it is just beginning of the party and she is already having the time of her life." He kissed my cheek and left to go join the rest of the group in the living room while the food was in the oven.

We started by playing Apples to Apples which is Riley's favorite game. I never knew that hanging out with friends could actually be fun when I didn't have to worry about Riley at home alone with Dad. I kept my eyes on her the whole night though, out of habit, but all I saw was that spark of happiness in her eyes that I always tried to give to her.

I pulled myself out of a few rounds of the game because I needed a moment to collect my thoughts. I sat on the big green chair and watched as my sister interacted with my boyfriend and the rest of our friends. I knew in that moment with the two people I love in this world together, that somehow everything was going to be okay. Nothing could hurt us now.

Soon dinner was ready and we all sat down around the table. Kurt announced we were having chicken strips and Riley looked over to catch my eye. "Thank you" she mouthed and I knew that she understood my gesture.

"Hey, everybody?" Riley was standing up at the head of the table, "I know that we don't know each other very well and I'm sure most of you, much like me, were nervous for tonight and didn't know what to expect but I just wanted to thank you all for coming. Blaine and I, we've been in this sticky situation for a while and all we have ever had is each other and after he transferred to Dalton I thought I had even less than that. I wasn't very good at making friends at my other school because I was too afraid of what would happen. You all have really shown me what it means to be somebody's friend no matter what and have helped me overcome the things that I have been through." Tears began to fill her eyes, "I am so lucky to have you all here. Thank you."

I looked around the table and there was not one face there that wasn't smiling. They all loved my sister, even if they were just getting to know her, they knew how much she could change their lives. Riley wiped away a tear from her cheek and started laughing.

"Oh, and one more thing; I'm usually not a crier so you won't have to get used to this. I'm just a wreck right now." She put her hand up to her mouth like she was whispering a secret to us all, "I blame the medicine." And a smile crossed her face.

"Happy birthday, Riley." It was Rachel who stood up this time to start the round of cheers.

For once in our lives Riley and I didn't have to worry about what was going to happen during birthday dinner or the argument that would come from the presents. We were allowed to sit back and laugh and join the conversation without having to be prepared for what happened next. Kurt's homemade chicken strips were to die for; I made a mental note to give him a special thank you when we got home. All too soon though the food was gone and conversation began to slow down and that's when I noticed Kurt and Burt whispering to each other.

I walked over there as sneakily as possible because if something had gone wrong I didn't want Riley to know. This is her day and I wasn't going to let anything ruin it.

"Hey, is everything okay?" I looked Burt straight in the eye.

"Are you kidding? Everything is great. Just listen to this." Burt turned to face the rest of the table and cleared his throat to get their attention.

"Hey. Sorry to crash your party Riley, but I couldn't wait any longer to give you your present." Riley began to put her hand up in protest but Burt just started talking right over what she was about to say. "I just got off the phone with social services office and they said they will arrange something for you on Saturday to be able to go home and collect all your belongings that you have been missing."

I'm pretty sure my jaw literally hit the floor because I felt Kurt's hand reach over to close my mouth. I looked at Riley who was just as shocked as me. She didn't say anything and her eyes just wandered back and forth as if she were physically looking for the right words to say.

"Burt," there was a long pause, "I don't know what to say. I couldn't ask for anything better. Thank you so much." She got up from her seat and ran over to Burt pulling him into one of her classic Riley hugs. He had a proud papa smile on his face because he loved her even though she wasn't his child.

Riley ran over to me next and pulled me into a similar hug. She whispered in my ear.

"You are the best big brother anybody could ask for. I'm glad you'll be there with me when we go." Then she pulled away and stepped over to Kurt. I don't think I was supposed to be able to hear her thank you to him, but she didn't exactly move further away from me.

"Kurt, thank you so much for being a part of not only my brother's life but also mine. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. I wouldn't want my brother with anyone else cause I know one day you're going to be my brother too."

This time it was Kurt who had tears in his eyes, "Hey, what are big brothers for?" And he pulled her into one last quick hug and kissed the top of her head before she went back to her seat at the table.

The chatter around the table began to pick up again and if I wasn't paying attention I probably wouldn't have noticed when Riley's phone began ringing. And even worse, the panicked look on her face when she saw the caller's name popped up.

I was at her side in two seconds, thankfully nobody else noticed but Kurt. CALL FROM: HOME. I pulled Riley into the living room and Kurt took over as a distraction before anyone could realize that we were missing.

"Put it on speakerphone." As she opened her phone she hit the speaker button and laid it on the floor between us.

"Hello?"

"Hello." My mother's voice filled the air between us and Riley grabbed my hand. "So, you didn't think we would forget your birthday, did you?" Riley looked at me in a panic because she didn't know what to say, so I took over.

"No, of course not, Mom. We have been waiting by the phone all day."

"Oh, Blaine honey, you're there too?"

"Of course. I couldn't leave Riley to celebrate on her own." I immediately wanted to take back my words because I felt guilty. It wasn't my mother's fault that she simply wasn't as strong as my Dad and that's why she wouldn't get involved.

"I know, sweetie. That's why I called too. How is everything going, Riley? Any problems?"

"Nope." I could see Riley gulp and I began to wonder what she was so afraid of. At least it wasn't Dad who was calling. "Everything is good. Blaine and I joined the glee club and we are celebrating with them tonight."

"Oh. That's nice. I just wanted to let you know something; I wouldn't bother coming over here Saturday. I just got the call from social services but your father has already gotten rid of everything. You would just come home to find empty bedrooms. He said that you guys deserved it for leaving him." Tears silently began to roll down Riley's cheeks and she turned and ran down to the basement. I didn't understand what was going on; how could my mother let my Dad do that? She knew how important a lot of that stuff was to us.

"Thanks for letting us know, but I gotta go. Bye." I quickly hung up the phone and got up to go talk to Riley.

Finn was standing behind me watching really closely.

"How much of that did you hear?" is all I was able to choke out.

"Enough to know that Riley's Saturday is suddenly free." I expected the usual 'I'm so sorry this is happening to you' speech to follow but I was beginning to learn that Finn was full of a lot of surprises. "I'll go get everybody to leave and tell Burt what is going on, man. You go take care of Riley."

"Thanks." And with that short little exchange Finn was gone.

I ran down the stairs as quickly as possible to find Riley crumbled to pieces on the floor. I walked over and sat down next to her trying to find the right words.

"Get out! I can't look at you right now! Just get out, Blaine!"

I couldn't move.

"Did you not hear me? Am I not speaking clearly enough for you?" Riley was still yelling. She dropped her head and looked out the top of her eyes. "I. Said. Get. Out." Riley began to smack me. I tried to wrap my arms around her in a hug but I was too confused and she was too furious.

"No, Riley! I'm not just going to leave you. We're in this together, remember?" Before I knew it I was yelling too grabbing at my sister's wrists trying to stop the tears from flooding down my cheeks, but I couldn't.

"Do you really believe that, Blaine? We haven't been in this together for a long time. You spend all your precious time with Kurt and just leave me here to be secondhand friends with Rachel. GET OUT!"

In a blur of anger I saw Finn grab Riley and pull her away from me and a set of strong arms were carrying me too.

I was led upstairs were I was greeted with a bunch of wide eyed confused faces. Puck had been the one leading me away from Riley. I dropped my head in shame.

"You heard her, please, just go home everyone."

They all left in silence until it was Kurt, Burt, Carole, and myself left. Rachel and her dads went downstairs to help Finn handle Riley.

Kurt came over to give me a hug but I pushed him away.

"Not right now, Kurt. I need to be alone. I will just walk home. Don't worry about me."

And as I shut the door behind me I shut the door on the two people I loved.


	8. Chapter 8

The next day at school was just plain awkward. I hadn't said a word to Kurt after I got home the night before and I hadn't said a word to Riley either. I didn't even text her to say goodnight. None of the glee club members wanted to say anything to me because they didn't want something to happen again so we all just avoided each other. Typically I would be so thankful that it was a Friday, but now I knew I had to come up with a creative way to avoid everybody over the weekend too.

If there was one thing Riley needed it would be if I sang her a song, and I knew the perfect one.

I was walking down the hall after school to go to glee club when I saw it; one of the football players had Riley cornered and was yelling at her.

"What's it like having a fag for a brother? Huh?"

"He's more of a man than you will ever be!" She spat back. She kept saying that but I had yet to prove that to her.

"Really? Cause that's not what your Dad said when he left those bruises on you."

I couldn't move. Why was I so weak? I was literally paralyzed by fear.

Before anything else could happen Kurt went running by me to Riley's side.

"Are you really so weak that you have to pick on a freshman girl, Karofsky? Cause if you ask me you're the vulnerable one. I suggest you get lost before things start to get ugly." I saw fear cross Karofsky's face and immediately disappear.

"Whatever. You better watch yourself loverboy. As for you," he turned to Riley again, "Keep yourself and your fag of a brother away from me." And he walked away.

Kurt enclosed Riley in a hug as he rubbed circles on her back like he had done so many times for me.

Being the coward that I am I turned and ran in the opposite direction.

When glee club finally started I was ready for this all to be over.

"Mr. Shue? I have a song prepared. Can I sing it?"

"Of course."

Everyone gave me suspicious looks, especially Finn. He was really starting to piss me off. I am Riley's older brother, not him. And if he thinks he can just come in here and take that away from me well he has something else coming for him. I avoided looking to Kurt and Riley wouldn't even look me in the eyes.

"You all know what this is about so… here we go."

_I don't know why she's with me_

_ I only brought her trouble since the day she met me_

_ If I was her by now I would have left me_

_ I would have walked away but now I've broken away_

_ Somehow instead she forgave me_

_ She said, 'A women's got to do what she's got to'_

_ Even if it means she denying herself the truth_

_ Cause when you're in too deep you wake up and it's too late_

_ You've falling in love in the worst way_

_ And if you don't go now then you'll stay_

_ Cause I'll never let you leave never let you breathe_

_ Cause if you're looking for heaven baby it sure as hell ain't me_

I could see the jaws drop around the room as people realized what I was doing exactly. I knew that some of them might come to the realization that I was asking Riley to just leave me alone but Riley would know better. She and I have talked about this song a hundred times.

_So walk away, walk away_

_ Save yourself from the heartache_

_ Go now before it's too late_

_ Walk away, walk away_

_ Save yourself from the heartache_

_ Go now before it's too late _

_ But still she stays_

Riley and I have compared the song to Mom and how we wished she would walk away from Dad. About how in this song the way he was asking her to leave was gracious. Not selfish.

_She's standing in the heart of darkness_

_ Saying I know you got a soul even though you're heartless_

_ How could any women in her right mind be so blind? _

_ To find something to save instead of walking with me she should have walked away _

_ She finds color in the darkest places_

_ She finds beauty in the saddest of places_

_ For such a groovy headstrong city girl could have had the world_

_ But you're falling in love in the worst way_

_ And if you don't go now then you'll stay_

_ Cause I'll never let you leave never let you breathe _

_ Cause if you're looking for heaven baby it sure as hell ain't me_

I was beginning to regret my decision to sing this now. Riley was shaking her head at me and I had never seen tears stream down her face so quickly. She clutched herself to the chair while Rachel grabbed her hand.

_So walk away, walk away_

_ Save yourself from the heartache_

_ Go now before it's too late_

_ So walk away, walk away_

_ Save yourself from the heartache_

_ Go now before it's too late_

_ But still she stays_

_ But still she stays_

_ Yes she stays_

With the last line of lyrics Riley ran out of the choir room and I followed closely behind her.

Riley was faster than me and I lost her in the hall somewhere but that didn't matter because I knew my sister; she would go to the stage. She had this silly belief that the stage is the only place that a person cannot hide behind anything. Anytime you are up there it is just you and the audience and there is no hiding.

I slowed down to catch my breath before entering and I could hear the rest of the members running after me too. I let them; if they wanted a show to watch well a show they were going to get.

I opened the door and I could hear Riley shouting.

_I'M STANDING UNDER A WHITE FLAG_

_ CAN YOU HEAR ME? CAN YOU HEAR ME?_

_ I'M STANDING FOR EVERYTHING WE HAVE_

_ CAN YOU HEAR ME? CAN YOU HEAR ME?_

When I turned the corner I saw that she was sitting on the edge of the stage looking up to the ceiling.

"GOD! WHY CAN'T YOU HEAR MY VOICE? I HAVE ASKED YOU TIME AND TIME AGAIN TO BE WITH MY BROTHER AND LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE MADE HIM. LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE MADE US."

It was obvious to me that the rest of the members had entered the auditorium now because I could hear Quinn gasp through her tears as she heard Riley's prayer.

Riley looked up at the sound and broke down. I ran up to be next to her.

"Riley, I can't put this off any longer. What is wrong?"

"How could you sing me that song, brother?" Her voice was soft now. She was done yelling. "You know what we both compare that song to."

"Exactly. Riley, can't you see that you are doing to me what Mom is doing to Dad?" I put my arm around her. "I'm not good for you." The tears started to form in my eyes and I tried to blink them back. The other members were moving forward now and I put my hand up to stop them about halfway. I couldn't have them be involved right now. "I have caused you so much trouble and so much sadness in your life." My thoughts became unfiltered and everything came spilling out of my mouth. "You need to leave me like we wanted Mom to do to Dad so many times. We might not have been enough for her to save but you are enough for me. It's only going to get worse, Ri." I let the painful memories of the nights Riley and I would stay up just hoping Mom would come in and take us away. "God, why weren't we enough for her to save?"

"BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T LOVE US!" She was looking up at me again and started taking short shallow breaths, "Don't you get it, Blaine?" She turned and looked back to her hands. "Haven't you figured out how I knew about your scar?"

I hadn't given it much thought since our conversation that morning last week.

"I guess I just figured that you saw it one night while I was sleeping."

"God, Blaine. You're so naïve sometimes. I've known about the scar since the night Dad gave it to you. Mom told me."

"Wait, how does Mom know about it?" I pulled away from Riley now because I didn't like where this conversation was going.

Tears began to flood down her face again.

"That night while you were in the kitchen I tried to escape to my bedroom but Mom held me in the living room. She covered my mouth so I couldn't scream for you." Riley took a break while the memories unfolded in her head her eyes looked fogged over as if she were watching them like a movie in her brain. "I heard Dad yelling all those things at you and all of the sudden you went quiet. Mom pulled my head back by her mouth so she could tell me what was happening. She told me how she and Dad had planned the whole thing out so that when you decided to tell them you are gay they knew exactly what you were going to get. She told me it was her idea."

I couldn't look at my sister anymore and I couldn't look towards the middle of the auditorium because I knew that the other members were listening to Riley retell this horror story. I stared down at my shoes and they began to blur as the tears started to flow freely.

"I heard you start screaming when he put the lighter on your back. I wanted to help you so badly. Mom had me held so tight though. And then when it was all over she told me that if I ever told you about her she would make it ten times worse for both of us. I'm so sorry, brother."

I didn't know what to say. Riley had been living in fear of our mother just as I had been living in fear of our father, except I didn't notice her fear. All faith in humanity that I had had disappeared. I began to think out loud.

"That's why you were so scared when she called you the other night."

"Blaine, that wasn't a happy birthday call… That was a warning call. She wanted to know if I had still kept her secret. She has these little sayings, just like you and I do, except hers are more of warnings."

"So all those times she pretended to be scared of Dad?"

"Just an act."

"But why?" That's what I could wrap my brain around. Why would my mom go through all this trouble just to hide from me that she was the one behind it all. "Why not just tell me that she was behind it? It would have scared me more."

"I don't know." Riley wiped her face and laid back on the stage.

I turned to look at her. Her legs were still dangling off the edge of the stage and her arms were pulled high above her head. It made part of her stomach stick out from under her jacket and I could still see the light outlined bruising. Her eyes were closed and if I didn't know any better she could have been sleeping.

"But, Ri, there's still something I don't get. Why did you get so mad at me?"

Her eyes popped open and her entire body stiffened.

"Because I was afraid you had figured it out and you had seen how much of a coward I am."

"Coward? Sister, you are the bravest person I have ever met. You stood up for me against both Mom and Dad. You hid your fear of Mom from me for an entire year because you wanted to keep me safe. You faced living in a strangers house by yourself and have transferred to a new school with new people and I have yet to see any of it get to you. All those things… they're not easy to do and you took them on one after another."

"But I didn't tell the truth." She sat up again crossing her legs and turning to look straight at me. "I put you in danger again because I didn't tell you about Mom a year ago. You're my brother and I love you more than anything in this world but the second that trouble came around I ran."

"If you ran then tell me how you came out of this whole thing having to go to the hospital when I could cover my bruises with some stage makeup? You didn't run. You stood there right in front of me and took the punishment that was meant to be mine. You protected me; that's not running.

"You are the best sister anyone could ever ask for. You go through so much pain for me but somehow you always come out protecting me. Like today with that football player, you could have just ran like any normal person would have done but you stood up for me."

"But I still needed Kurt to come protect me."

At the sound of his name I heard Kurt shuffle a little. I looked up to the group now and saw that Sam was holding Kurt back from coming to us.

"That doesn't mean you're a coward it just means that you can't handle everything that life throws at you on your own. That's why God gave you me." Riley scoffed to herself as if I were missing an inside joke, but I let it slide because I wanted to clear more things up with her. "Can I ask you one more thing?"

"Of course."

"Do you really hate Kurt? I mean, I know I am living with him and I spend a lot of time with him, but I thought that you and Kurt got along?"

"No." Riley was shaking her head, "That was so stupid of me and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry to both of you." Riley turned and looked at Kurt this time. "I just needed to say something to get you out of my room and I guess I just figured that if I went for something that was really going to hurt then I had a better chance of you not fighting me. I didn't mean any of it." She waved Kurt over and Sam let him go.

Kurt came to the edge of the stage and Riley took his hand.

"I meant what I said the other night. You have done so much for me, even today, standing up to Karofsky like that. I wouldn't want anyone else to be with my brother, you're really good for him."

"What are big brothers for?" Hearing the words again gave the Riley the final sense of relief that she needed and I knew that whatever had been bothering her all week was gone.

For the first time in a very long time I felt that everything was going to be okay. That everything was going to go back to normal.

Mr. Shue again called rehearsal to be over on account of Riley and I and the rest of the members flooded out of the auditorium. I stood up and grabbed Riley's hand to help her up too and pulled her into a hug.

"We're going to be okay, Ri." She pulled away from me but I kept my hands on her sides.

"You promise?"

"I promised."

Riley looked up at me smiling. Not just any smile though, a smile that reached her eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

Riley and I spent Friday night and Saturday together like we had originally planned for her birthday. I don't think it was really what either of us was expecting, we had a lot of mending to do after Friday, but I could tell that she loved it.

She found all the clothes that she and Kurt had gone searching for online after school Friday and if she found anything she liked in the store that wasn't preapproved she called Kurt before she bought it to make sure it would go with everything she was getting. I swear I spent half the day just waiting for Riley and Kurt to stop gushing over a photo she would send him or an idea for an outfit she would get and have to call to ask him about it. But I loved them both and if they were getting along I was in no position to complain.

After the mall she and I went to go see a movie and grab some ice cream. All in all it was a perfect day for us both, but by the end I was completely exhausted.

"Kurt, I don't know how you can do that all the time. I'm tired and my feet hurt and I just want to curl into a ball and go to sleep." It was late Saturday night and Riley was at home showing Rachel everything she had bought. After about two minutes of the girls pining over the first shirt Riley showed Rachel, Riley said I could go back and hang out with Kurt for the night.

Kurt laughed and walked over behind me wrapping his arms around my waist and laying his chin on my shoulder.

"It's a gift." I turned around and kissed him lightly.

"You're a gift." He rolled his eyes at my cheesy comment. "I'm completely serious, Kurt. These past couple of days you have been an angel. First, you made the most delicious dinner for Riley at her party, and then you stood up for her yesterday against Karofsky. And you didn't even get insulted when she was yelling at me about how you and I spend too much time together."

"Well, it's like she said, I care about her. Riley is a great person who has gone through more things than most people couldn't dream about going through. She needs someone to just show her that people can care. You do an amazing job of that, Blaine. You and Riley have this connection that I will never understand, but you are part of those memories that she tries so hard to forget."

"So you think I need to back off her?"

"No, that's not what I'm saying at all. Come here." Kurt took my hand and pulled me over to the bed, "It's like right after my mom died I could barely look at my dad because he reminded me of her so much. That didn't mean I needed him any less, it was just harder to be around him." Kurt put his hand under my chin and lifted my head so our eyes could meet, "Riley loves you, Blaine. You mean everything to her, you are all that she has and that thought terrifies me because what if you're not around one time when she just really needs someone. Finn and I talked about this while you spent your nights at the hospital with her right after everything happened and we both agreed that we were going to do whatever to takes to make sure Riley had friends and people in her life that she could trust to help her. That's why he has been so overwhelmingly supportive with her, and that's why I am so glad that she has opened up to us both."

Kurt moved so he was leaning on his headboard and then pulled me into his lap. We sat there for a while in silence while I rested my head on his chest and he played with my hands.

"Kurt?" My voice was quiet and I tried to cover up the sadness that clearly rang through.

"Ya?"

"Do you think I'm a bad brother?" I grabbed Kurt's hand so I was holding it tightly, "And don't just disagree because you are you. Just seriously think about it. I have lived with this hope that one day my mom was going to get away from my dad and everything and that is what has gotten me through the past year, besides you and Riley of course. And then just yesterday I find out that Riley didn't even have that glimmer of hope, you know? Like she has been living in this dark cruel world where her only escape was me and then I went and transferred to Dalton and I was gone more because the commute everyday was like an hour. And then today when I saw that football player bullying her I couldn't even rough up enough courage to go and stand up for you, you had to do that." I let the tears fall from my face and onto Kurt's shirt.

"Do you hear what you just said?"

"Ya! That my sister's life has been hell and I didn't even notice."

"No, that you were her only escape." I sat up so Kurt could lay down and he pulled me down with him so our faces were inches apart. "You and Riley have been through so much and all you had for a lot of it was each other. Riley will not ever see you as a bad older brother; she will see you as someone who has always been there for her. In her head, and in everyone else's for that matter, you are not the cause of anything, your dad is. You just happened to set him off and that's something that you cannot control. Anybody watching you two interact could see how much you love Riley I don't think anyone would ever say otherwise. The only person who I need to convince of that is you." He closed the gap between us and gave me a quick kiss.

"Thank you, Kurt. Sometimes I wonder how I got so incredibly lucky to have someone like you."

"Believe me. I'm the lucky one."

Kurt and I lay there just staring into each other's eyes until I could feel sleep begin to take over and I drifted away.

The next morning I rolled over groggily before pulling the comforter up to chin to protect against the cold. My entire body filled with the smell of Kurt which was weird because the blankets on the couch had never smelled of him before. Come to think of it, we don't have a comforter on the couch, only quilts. Instantly my eyes pop open and all I can see is Kurt sleeping under a lump of comforter as well. He looked like an angel, well, if I'm being honest he really didn't; he was curled in a ball with a leg hanging out the bottom of the covers and his mouth was hanging wide open, but to me he was an angel.

I pushed passed my confusion as to why Burt didn't force me to move to the couch last night and decided to just enjoy the fact that I just woke up next to the person I love. I reached out and wrapped Kurt in my arms and pulled him as close to me as possible.

He stirred as I pulled him but then turned around in my arms to look at me.

"Hey you." He had a groggy smile on his face and his words were a little slurred. "My dad came in after you fell asleep last night and decided it would be too much to move you. Besides, you've had a hard long week."

"Oh, well I'll be sure to thank him later." I gave him a light kiss. "You should go back to sleep. It's pretty early."

"No. I want to enjoy waking up with you next to me." Kurt looked down and stared to play with my shirt. I instantly recognized the look in his eyes.

"There was more to that statement?"

"What do you mean?"

"Kurt, I know you too well. What's on your mind?"

"Nothing. I promise."

"Fine, then can I say something?"

"Of course." Kurt looked up from his hands and straight into my eyes. I was taken aback for a second as I let my eyes sink into his deep blue ones.

"I love you." Kurt opened his mouth like he was going to say something but I stopped his before he could start. "Please, let me finish. I have had love ripped away from me time and time again. My parents used to tell me they love me, and then they would turn around and yell at me. My grandparents stopped coming around when I was very little because my dad chased them away. All of my friends' parents wouldn't allow them to come over anymore once they found out how much my dad drank. Obviously I love Riley, but she's my sister and she's the only person that I have been able to trust. I never believed in love. I always thought that if God decided put me in such a terrible home there is no way he had a plan for me to fall in love, that he wanted me to wonder through life lonely. And then one day I was going to meet some friends from Dalton downtown and I missed my bus and who should walk up but you. And you complimented me on my outfit and I was instantly intrigued. It wasn't love at first sight by any means. It took me a long time to figure it out because love isn't easy, especially for me. It is hard, it takes a lot of work, and it brings you down sometimes. Sometimes I don't want to love you because I feel like I don't deserve you and you just settle for someone who is so broken. But at the end of the day I need you. You and Riley have become my solid rocks in life and I don't know what I would ever do without you. I love you with all of my heart and I never want to stop loving you.

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Kurt. And I just hope that I can be enough for you and that one day you will want that too."

Kurt had tears filling his eyes and a smile spread across his face. I had never seen him so genuinely happy and knowing that I was the cause of it made my heart smile.

"Blaine Michael Anderson, you stole the words right out of my mouth; I was just too afraid to say them because I didn't know if you wanted me for forever too. I love you; now and forever, with all of my heart. It gives me butterflies when I hear you talk about your feelings for me, and when you kiss me, and when you hold my hand, and especially when you look into my eyes and I can just tell that you are seeing me for who I am. I want to be yours forever. I want to wake up every morning just like this, in your arms, and I never want to see you hurt again." Kurt kissed me and I lost myself in the moment.

The second Riley, Kurt, Finn, Rachel, and I walked into school on Monday I could just tell that something about today wasn't going to be right, there was just this weird feeling in the air. I had the perfect weekend. I got to spend a day with my sister and then I got to spend a day with the guy I love, and now that perfect weekend was over.

Just between second and third period I saw Karofsky corner my sister again but this time I wasn't going to stand idly by and watch it happen. This time I marched up right next to her and took her hand.

"Oh, finally decided to stand up for your sister, Anderson? Well guess what, you're never going to be a man. I was just telling your sister here how much your daddy must have loved you guys to let you live as charity."

"You better watch yourself Karofsky." I was actually kind of proud of how intimidating my voice sounded, despite my legs practically giving out in fear. It obviously had no effect on him.

"Ya, well don't worry about me, I don't talk to fags like you or bruised up, broken, ugly girls like your sister here."

I could feel my hand clench and I had to drop Riley's so I didn't hurt her.

"You know what Karofsky?" I looked down at my sister shocked as she took a step toward him getting closer than I was comfortable with. "You are so lucky that I have had a shitty passed, you know why? Because everything that I have gone through in this god forsaken world has made me so much stronger; now when I come across assholes like you I don't let your words scare me." I couldn't believe that Riley was standing here saying this to him. "You talk down upon people and you should probably be told that your words don't go unnoticed. Yes, my dad beat me and my brother. Yes, my mom never loved us. Yes, I am living off money that the government forces my parents to send every month, but at least when I go to bed at night I know that I never hurt anybody like they have hurt me. I see the coward that you are. You hide behind your words. But I think it's time you learned a little lesson; your words may not have any effect on me and my life, but one day you are going to say something to somebody and it is going to change their life for forever. People like you are the reason that the teen suicide rate is so high. Next time you go spitting off your big-ass ugly mouth, maybe you should think about what you want to say first, because you never know when your words are going to be the last thing someone hears."

I stood there completely jaw dropped while Karofsky scoffed and walked away.

Looking up I realized that the entire glee club and some other students had stood by and watched the whole thing go down. Kurt came up and pulled Riley into a hug and kissed her cheek. Everyone else gave nods of approval or quiet quick claps for her. As cheesy as the crowd's reaction was Riley started laughing and turned around to hug me.

I had never been more proud.

Once school was over I was thoroughly excited to go to glee rehearsal because Mr. Shue had announced that we were going to start working on numbers for our next performance.

"All right guys, this Friday night is our annual Parents' Night. For our new members who don't know what that is it is a night when all of the glee members invite their parents to the school and we put on a big show for them. Each member will perform one song for their parents and at the end we will do a big group number. So everybody start listing off their song ideas."

I felt the blood drain from my face.


	10. Chapter 10

"Mr. Shue….." Finn looked between Riley, Shue, and me with a worried expression.

"That's really kind of rude Mr. Shue." It was Quinn who stood up to him now, "You are always talking about how you care about your students and you know how hard high school is and now you go and pull something like this? It's not even a tradition. We did it for the first time last year."

It took him a minute before he set his eyes on me and Riley and he finally realized what everybody was talking about.

"Oh, goodness, guys I am so sorry."

"No." I looked over to Riley as she spoke, "We have just come in here and screwed up your schedules for the last week. Please, Blaine and I will figure something out, but I actually kind of like the idea."

"Ya. I'm with her. Riley and I can still sing a song to our parents, or we can sing a song to each other or something."

"Are you guys sure?"

"Ya, you know what? I think hearing what all the other kids have to sing could really be cool. I'm with you, Mr. Shue. This is going to be really fun."

Everybody hesitantly got up and gathered around the piano to look at sheet music. Eventually the awkward mood that hung in the air evaporated and every one was absorbed into searching for the right song for their parents.

I was right about one thing; this was a great way for me to learn a lot about my friends and their family dynamics. I learned that Quinn's parents were divorced and that she lived with her mom although she didn't along with her so well. Tina's parents weren't as supportive as they could have been so she turned to Mike's parents a lot. Santana lived with her grandmother and Brittany's parents were supportive of her and whatever she decided to do.

Things got a little awkward for Finn and Kurt because neither of them were sure if they were supposed to sing a song for just their biological parents or if they were supposed to sing a song together for both of their parents. In the end they decided that Finn would sing one for Carole and Kurt one for Burt and hope that the other one would understand.

Riley and I decided to help the other members find songs for their parents during rehearsal and we would pick ours out when we were on our own.

We were sitting in the living room at the Hummel-Hudson house iPods in hand silently scrolling through songs.

"Ri, I don't even know what I am looking for. I think we need to talk about this before we dive right in."

"What is there to talk about?"

"Well, let's start with the obvious. How do you want to do this? I mean, we can find songs and sing it to the other. Or we can find a song that describes us together and just sing it. We could always sing a song to the people who have so willingly taken us in…"

"No." Riley cut me off dropping her hands and eyes to the ground, "I want to sing one to Mom and Dad even though they aren't going to be there."

"You…. What?"

"Brother, you cannot honestly tell me that you don't have feelings towards how they treated us. Even now, they are just out there living their lives forced to send us money once a month, but that's it. They don't call. They don't check in. They are living like we never existed. Doesn't that make you mad?"

"Of course it does, sister. It really pisses me off, but there is nothing that we can do about it."

"That's not true. You were the one to teach me that music holds a higher power in life. It can be used to describe feelings and situations that you can't find words for."

"Ya, I do. But there isn't a song out there called 'Thanks for beating the shit out of me and my sister because you didn't like my life choices but at least God could save us.'" Riley's face immediately turned to stone.

"You don't seriously mean that, do you?"

"Mean what?"

"Blaine. God doesn't exist. I thought you of all people would know that."

"How can you say that? Look at everything he has done for us." I pointed to the house around us.

"He has done nothing for us!" Riley sat up a little straighter as she hushed her voice, "If God really existed we wouldn't have been through the hell that we went through with our parents. After Dad threw me down and I was holding myself up with the kitchen table I started to pray. I prayed so hard that night, Blaine. I asked him to save you. I asked him to stop Dad, for everything to be over, to get us out of that house. But he didn't do that."

"Riley…."

"No. Just listen. Please." She took a deep breath and looked straight into my eyes. "The next morning when Dad came home and you were out with Kurt I prayed again. I asked him to keep Dad away from me. I asked him why he was letting him do that to me and I woke up in the hospital the next day. If God really does exist then he sucks. You of all people should know that, he made you gay and then sent people to hate you for it."

"Stop. Stop right now." I couldn't believe the words I was hearing. I took Riley's hands in mine, "Look around you, Ri. Look at where you are. God did answer your prayers. Maybe not immediately, and maybe not in the way that you wanted him to, but he did. He got you and me away from them. You and I have been graciously taken in by people who barely knew us and those people are now like family. We are safe here; nobody can touch us."

"That's not true. There are still football players and people outside of high school that are going to bring us down."

"I'm pretty sure you took care of the football players during school today and we are just going to have to forget about everyone else." She wasn't convinced, "You listen to me, and you listen good. People like us, people who have been through so much in their lives, have no other choice but to believe that there really is a God because if we don't have that then we have nothing. The thought of there being nothing better than this messed up world is too terrifying for me to even think about. The thought that everything is going to get better one day is what gets me through my days."

"What about all the people saying that you are going to hell for being gay?"

"Well, that's their problem, not mine. But I can tell you that I have something in my life that many of them will never have: love. Kurt he…. He makes me believe that everything in life is going to be okay. Because of him I'm not afraid to be myself and be proud."

"You really love him, don't you?"

"With half of my heart."

"Half?"

"The other half belongs to you." She rolled her eyes at my dorkiness before going back to searching for songs on her iPod. "Hey, I want you to have something in your life to help you too, Ri. I want you to believe in a higher power, because without one, let's be honest, we probably wouldn't be here right now."

"I know. I will try to come around the idea."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

Silently we both went back to our iPods to search for songs when she suddenly burst out in laughter.

"What is so funny? Seriously…. you're going to have to fill me in….. I'm still waiting."

Riley was finally able to catch her breath enough to tell me.

"How is it possible that you and I sat down to look for songs to sing for a glee club performance and ended up talking about God and love?"

I started laughing with her. Riley and I definitely had a special relationship, but she was right about that being weird.

"Too bad there isn't a song about that."

"We could always write one." She said through her laughs again.

"I'm pretty sure that would be the worst song ever written. In the history of ever."

"But it would be hilarious."

"That's true, there's no denying that. But getting back to business we need to find a song."

"Well, you know how I feel."

"Ya, I just want to make sure that you're sure on that one."

"I still want to sing a song to them, Blaine."

"Good, because I think I found one."


	11. Chapter 11

NOTES: The rest of the story will be written in third person because the story splits into two different places at the same time.

"Rachel, where is Riley?"

Blaine had been pacing backstage after Riley hadn't shown up for their last minute run through.

"She said that she had a project for history due Monday and tonight was the only night her partner could work on it."

"So am I still supposed to go on?"

"Ya. She said to break a leg, that she would see you soon, and…." Rachel looked toward the ceiling trying to remember what the last thing was. "Oh ya, what's the one thing you'll never forget?"

Blaine released some of the tension in his shoulders at that last one.

"Thanks, I guess." He turned and walked to the corner where Kurt was waiting for him. He pulled out his phone and sent a message to Riley: **You too.**

"So, where is she?"

"Apparently she had to work on a project tonight with a partner for history. It was the only time they could work together."

"So you're going on by yourself?"

"Looks like it." Kurt pulled Blaine into a close hug wrapping his arms around his waist.

"You're going to do amazing."

"Thanks." Blaine reached up and kissed Kurt lightly on the lips.

Mr. Shue came around the corner to gather everyone before the show started.

"All right guys. I know that we have only had a week to prepare this number together but I really think this is going to be a good show. All of your parents are out there and they are excited. Mike, you're up first."

All of the members went around and gave encouraging hugs while Mr. Shue went out and welcome the parents and announce Mike for the show.

He did a dance number, of course, with very little vocals followed by Tina until eventually Blaine was the last one to go.

Kurt came off stage after singing for Burt with a huge smile on his face.

"Kurt, you were amazing!"

"Thanks." Kurt leaned down to kiss Blaine quickly before he gave Blaine an encouraging rub on the back.

"Do this for Riley. You'll be amazing."

Blaine quickly kissed Kurt on the cheek before stepping on to the stage and standing by himself behind the microphone stand.

"So, Riley couldn't make it tonight because she had a school project, but she and I picked this song out together for our parents. I don't know if the other members have told you all about what happened to us but it basically comes down this this: our parents never loved us and the moment we were gone they seemed to forget that they had children at all. To know that you mean so little to someone who has been such a big part of your life, whether they were a positive or negative influence, is hard and I think Riley has struggled with that the most. I wish she could be here to sing this with me because she has been the light at the end of my tunnel my entire life. But the show must go on, right? It's called Long Gone and Moved On by The Script."

The band started playing their music and Blaine began to sing.

_When's the day you start again?_

_And when the hell does you'll get over it begin?_

_I'm looking hard in the mirror_

_But I don't fit my skin_

_It's too much to take _

_It's too hard to break me_

_From this hell I'm in._

Riley looked at the text and closed her phone. She walked silently to the sandbox that resided in so many of her memories with Blaine when they were little kids; all the times that Blaine would play house with her or make up a fake world where there were no mommies or daddies. She sat down on the edge of the box submerging her hands into the sand before pulling them out letting the sand run off back into the box. She repeated his process many times while before she picked up the pen and paper and began to write.

_Oh from this moment on_

_I'm changing the way I feel yeah_

_From this moment on _

_It's time to get a real_

Blaine let the music control him before he started the chorus. He let his anger take over and he stared at the back wall of the auditorium too afraid to make eye contact with anyone in the audience. Blaine had been so busy taking care of Riley and trying to make everything into a new normal for both of them that he hadn't realized how much anger he had been holding towards his parents. If beating up their own children wasn't enough they were now out somewhere living their life as if they didn't have a suffering son and daughter trying to move on with their lives.

_Cause I still don't know how to act_

_Don't know what to say_

_Still wear the scars like it was yesterday_

_But you're long gone and moved on_

_Cause you're long gone _

_But I still don't know where to start, still finding my way_

_Still talk about you like it was yesterday_

_But you're long gone and moved on_

_But you're long gone, you moved on_

The tears rolled openly down Riley's cheeks as she signed the note and laid it next to her. She had been thinking about it for a while now but her conversation with Blaine earlier this week was what helped her make her final decision.

_So how'd you pick the pieces up, yeah_

_I'm barely used to saying me instead of us_

_The elephant in the room keeps scaring off the guests_

_It gets under my skin to see you with him_

_And it's not me that you're with_

Blaine hesitated slightly as he began to sing the second verse because this was supposed to be Riley's part. He remembered the night before when she had started crying during this verse while they rehearsed it. The lyrics really meant something to her and he wanted to do it justice for her tonight.

_Oh from this moment on_

_I'm changing the way I feel yeah_

_From this moment on _

_It's time to get a real_

_Cause I still don't know how to act_

_Don't know what to say_

_Still wear the scars like it was yesterday_

_But you're long gone and moved on_

_Cause you're long gone _

_But I still don't know where to start, still finding my way_

_Still talk about you like it was yesterday_

_But you're long gone and moved on_

_But you're long gone, you moved on_

Riley picked up the bottle of pills that she had brought along and the water. Closing her eyes she leaned her head back looking up at the stars and said a silent prayer asking God to be with Blaine. Asking him to make this easier on him than it was on her. Then Riley uncapped the pills and popped all of them in her mouth before taking a swig of the water and lying down in the sand. It couldn't be long now.

_No I can't keep thinking that you're coming back_

_No_

_Cause I got no business knowing where you're at_

_No_

_And its gonna be hard yeah_

_Cause I have to wanna heal yeah_

_And its gonna be hard yeah_

_The way I feel that I have to get real_

Blaine brought himself back to the auditorium as he began to wrap the song up. He wished Riley had been here to perform with him because being up there on the stage had actually helped him come to terms with how he felt toward his parents. He now looked down at the Hudson-Hummel family and the Berry family and they all had this look of sadness and understanding as they watched Blaine settle into the final spot on the stage.

_I still don't know how to act_

_Don't know what to say_

_Still wear the scars like it was yesterday_

_But you're long gone and moved on_

_But you're long gone _

_But I still don't know where to start, still finding my way_

_Still talk about you like it was yesterday_

_But you're long gone and moved on_

_But you're long gone, you moved on_

Riley took her last couple of deep slow breaths and closed her eyes _I love you, Blaine._

**Silence.**

The audience erupted into applause as Blaine took a short modest bow. The other members made their way to the stage to do their group number for the parents before the night would be over.

Burt offered to take his family (which he now included Blaine) and the Berry family out to ice cream after the performance before they all went home.

After Blaine got home he tried to call Riley to see how the project was going but when he called he got sent straight to voicemail.

Thinking nothing of it he quickly texted Rachel asking her to have Riley call him when she got home.

Kurt and Blaine were watching a Moulin Rouge in Kurt's bedroom. Blaine was leaning back in the corner of the couch with Kurt leaning back on his chest. Blaine had Kurt wrapped tightly in his arms while he rested his chin on the top of Kurt's head.

"Blaine?"

"Ya?"

"You're not alone. You know that, right?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, that song that you sang tonight. It made it sound like you thought that now that your parents are gone you are alone. But you're not. You have me and Riley, not to mention all of the members of glee club."

Blaine chuckled a little to himself.

"Kurt, if you think I don't know how much love I have in my life then you obviously weren't listening to me a week ago. I used to feel that way, that's why I can relate to the song so well. But even over the past couple of weeks you all have shown me how much you care. How much I actually matter in this world."

"Good." Kurt turned around to face Blaine; their faces were only inches apart. "Cause I have made it my mission in life to make sure you never feel that way again."

"Mission accomplished."

Kurt closed the gap between them and started pulled Blaine closer. It wasn't a desperate kiss, Kurt wanted to make sure Blaine new how much he meant so he kissed him softly making each movement very smooth and prominent.

They parted and just looked into each other's eyes for a few moments taking in the love that they had for one another. The music from their movie started and they both settled back to cuddling to enjoy the love medley that had begun.

Blaine heard his phone begin to vibrate before the ringtone started. He pulled it off the table and looked at the caller I.D. it was a number he didn't recognize.

"Hello?"

"Hello. Is this Mr. Anderson?"

"Yes."

"Mr. Anderson, my name is Officer Jones with the Lima Police Department. I'm going to need you to come down to the station."

"Is there some sort of problem officer?" Blaine tried to hold his voice steady but it had cracked at the end. Kurt looked him with confusion before he placed his hand on his back and started to rub small circles.

"We need you to identify a body."

Kurt had never seen Blaine move quicker than he was right now. After he had hung up the phone Blaine ran to the closet to grab his coat and then went down the hall to Burt and Carole's room. He knocked and barely even waited for an answer before opening the door.

"I just got a call from the police and they need me to go down to the station."

"Why?"

Blaine couldn't answer that. He just shook his head before sitting down on the edge of the bed. Burt set his book down and got up to go sit next to Blaine. Burt wasn't Blaine's father but he was the closest thing he had. Burt pulled Blaine into a hug and Blaine couldn't hold himself together anymore. He began sobbing right into Burt's shoulder and wrapped his arms around him. Kurt came in then and gave a dad a shrug because he was just as curious as to what was going on.

Eventually Blaine stopped shaking and Burt was able to pull away from him.

"I'll grab my keys and go with you."

By the time they arrived at the station Blaine had sunken into his dark place and wouldn't respond when either Kurt of Burt tried talking. Together they managed to get him out of the car and Burt put an arm around Blaine's shoulder while Kurt took his hand. Neither one knew what to expect when entering through the glass doors but they both knew that whatever was about to happen was going to break Blaine even more.

Burt approached the front desk while Kurt stayed back with Blaine.

"Hi. Someone called for Blaine Anderson to come down earlier."

The secretary's shoulder shrunk and she looked at Burt as if it were his dying day.

"Are you Blaine?"

"No, he's right here. I'm his… guardian." Kurt walked toward the desk with Blaine.

"Well we can only take Blaine into the morgue to identify the body. He was the only name listed as family."

"Morgue?" Kurt stepped forward now to take lead in the conversation. "Identify the body? Who exactly do you think died?"

Blaine dropped his eyes to the floor because he knew whose name the woman was going to say. He should have realized this earlier, but he had been too caught up to see the signs.

"Riley Anderson."

Kurt began to shake his head and Burt went completely silent. Nobody said anything for the next few seconds. The two of them stood jaw dropped and Blaine began to feel dizzy.

"Where is the body?" Blaine's voice was nowhere near steady. He barely spoke above a whisper.

"You'll need to follow me." A police officer came around the corner to meet them now. His tag said Jones on it and Blaine knew it was the officer that had called him earlier.

Blaine turned to follow him but Kurt grabbed his hand to keep him there.

"Blaine. They have to have the wrong person. We just saw Riley earlier today."

Blaine didn't respond. He pulled his hand away from Kurt and walked toward the officer. Silently Jones turned and led Blaine to a room in the back.

Blaine walked up to the only table in the room with a body on it. There was a sheet covering it, but Blaine could feel that it was her.

"Are you ready, Mr. Anderson?"

Blaine simply nodded before the officer pulled back the sheet to reveal her face. If it weren't for the pale skin and even paler lips Blaine would have thought she was just sleeping. She looked so peaceful, just like when she was laying on the stage just one week ago.

The tears filled Blaine's eyes and he collapsed his chin to his chest. This couldn't be happening. Blaine had taken care of everything; it was all just beginning to feel like it could be normal again one day. Blaine told himself that if he was able to get Riley out of that house he could avoid this situation altogether. But he was wrong.

"It was an overdose on her pain medication." Officer Jones put a hand on Blaine shoulder. "She left a note if you would like to read it."

Blaine didn't even try to wipe back the tears as he nodded silently to the officer.

Moments later the officer returned with a single piece of paper, handed it to Blaine, and left the room.

**Blaine,**

**Over the last week I have come to realize many things. The first is that you were right; there is a God. God created every single person on this earth and he watches over to make sure they know what they are doing. Which brings me to my second realization: God created all of us to have a purpose in life, a very specific and very important purpose. If we are lucky enough, God helps us realize what that purpose is early on in life, but many times we wander this earth lost and confused until one day it finally hits us. Your purpose is to spread love. You love so carefully, Blaine, but when you do love it is with everything that you are. You put your heart on the line and give it your all. I am the luckiest girl in the world to have you as an older brother. Since the day I was born you have given me your love and that is what got me through all those terrible times with Mom and Dad. My purpose in life is to show you what your love can do. That was my third realization. God made me to help you realize all the purpose that you possess. My fourth, and final realization is this: I have done my job. When you told me that you only love Kurt with half of your heart I realized that I was only holding you back. You need to know love, Blaine, and you need to know what it is like to love with your whole heart. Once you have done that, your job will be done too. We both know it.**

**I love you, Blaine. You are my brother, my protector, and my world. Nothing else has ever mattered to me. **

**I need to you to remember me and everything we talked about. **

**Stick to The Script, Blaine.**

**You promised.**

**Love,**

**Riley**


	12. Chapter 12

Blaine wasn't sure how long he sat there reading the note through his tears before he felt a pair of strong arms around him. He looked up and greeted Kurt's bright blue eyes with his own.

"Blaine…" But Kurt couldn't say anything else; he didn't know what else to say. This was so much different than when his mother died because his mother hadn't made the decision to leave him. Kurt couldn't stop thinking about how much Blaine was going to blame himself. He already thought he had failed as a brother, and now his sister went and took her own life.

"Blaine, I'm so sorry."

"Don't. Please, Kurt. Don't say anything."

Kurt helped Blaine up from the floor silently and took him out to the front where Burt was raising his voice at one of the officers.

"Give him some time! I'm not saying he won't come back and do whatever it is you need him to do but his sister just committed suicide! You cannot expect him to be in any state to do anything right now. He is coming home with us and we will bring him back when he is good and ready."

Burt huffed before walking up to the boys and taking Kurt by the arm.

"We are going home."

Kurt sat in the back seat with Blaine in the car and then with him on the couch when they got home. Blaine clung Riley's note to his chest while Kurt pulled him into his lap and just let him cry. Kurt could feel Blaine's body shake from the sobs and Blaine's tears had left a wet spot on Kurt's shirt, but that didn't matter right now. Kurt could barely hold himself together because he too felt like he had lost a little sister, but he needed to be strong for Blaine. Blaine needed to have something solid in his life right now, a person to be there for him while everything was crashing down; that person was Kurt.

Sometime between three and four in the morning Blaine had drained himself of everything and drifted into a light slumber. Kurt on the other hand couldn't sleep; he took this time to grieve silently before Blaine would need him again. Riley wasn't his little sister by any means, and he hadn't been through everything they had been through but he still loved her and wanted to watch her grow up and fall in love. There were so many nights Blaine and Kurt would spend together talking about all the ways they could watch Riley mature into a beautiful women. They talked about how between them and Finn the role of the protective older brother would play out quite nicely when she brought around boys, and they would be her shoulder to cry on when she got her heart broken. All those dreams that they had, the ones that Kurt had kept to himself about finally being an older brother were shattered.

Through his tears Kurt saw the note that Blaine still had in his hands from the police station. He hadn't gotten the chance to ask if it was the letter that Riley left; he had just kind of assumed it was. Carefully he tried to pull it out of his hands. Kurt had no intention of reading what it said, but he felt it would be safer if he laid if face down on the table for Blaine to have tomorrow.

As he was flipping the note down to set it on the table he saw his name scribbled in Riley's handwriting. He couldn't keep his eyes from reading the ending. **Stick to The Script. You promised.** Kurt figured it was one of their many 'things' that they had made up over time. He mindlessly set the note down and pulled Blaine closer to him.

Kurt ran his fingers through Blaine's hair while he slept and studied his face. He looked so peaceful like this, in a world of dreams where his sister was probably still alive and he was able to roam freely and love openly without anyone holding him back. Kurt liked picturing Blaine like that, a land where Blaine was safe. He couldn't begin to imagine what it was going to be like when Blaine woke up and reality struck him. As Kurt sat there with Blaine in his arms he thought about his future with Blaine, now. How things had changed from everything they talked about before. Now Kurt and his family was all that Blaine had. They would all be there to support him, and help him through like they were with him and Riley before. But this was going to be different.

Kurt wondered if Blaine would ever smile the same again. Blaine had this big brother smile, or so Kurt called it, when Riley would do something funny or smart. It was the look that Blaine got when he was first telling him about his sister so many months ago when they first started dating. It was a look that Kurt was looking forward to perfecting, a look that Kurt was never going to get to use now.

Blaine could feel himself drifting further from his dream and closer to reality. He tried to make it come back to him, to pull back the memory of him and Riley playing on the swings when they were little, but it wouldn't work. Realizing he was still in Kurt's arms on the couch he didn't want to get up so he laid there pretending to be asleep still. His mind wandered over the last couple of weeks, to all the things that could have triggered Riley again, mentally slapping himself every time he caught one of the signs that had slipped past him.

Blaine remembered a year and a half ago when he found Riley writing a suicide note in her room. She had ripped up the note before he could finish reading it, but just through the words **I can't take it** and **This is goodbye** he could tell exactly what it was.

Riley made a deal with Blaine; if he would keep his mouth shut and not tell anyone then Riley would explain it all to him and accept whatever help he could give by himself. Riley had told him about the kids at school always hanging out and she couldn't do that because of Dad, and how she was felt responsible for everything that was happening to Blaine at school, that she felt like she could more for him.

Blaine had helped her work through everything back then, or so he thought. Every night he would talk with her about how she was feeling, and he gave her a journal and asked her to write…. The journal. Blaine hadn't packed it when he was rushing out of the apartment. That's the key to this whole thing.

Kurt could feel Blaine begin to shake again and knew he had woken up.

"Blaine…"

"Where's the note?"

"What?"

"Riley's note, where is it?"

"It's right here." Kurt leaned forward pulling the note off of the table before handing it to him. Blaine sat up and read over the note a few more times which brought a fresh set of tears to his eyes.

"Did you read it?" Kurt was a bit surprised by his question.

"No…"

"Here." Blaine held the note out to Kurt so he could read it. "When I read that note… I can hear her. It's like she is standing behind me reading over my shoulder and I'm going to turn around and she will be right there." Kurt reached over and wiped the tear that was running down his cheek.

"I will always be here."

"Please, just read the note."

Blaine watched closely as Kurt read over everything. Kurt couldn't help but smile a little because he knew exactly what Blaine was talking about when he said you could hear her reading it but then he read the end again. The smile faded from his face when he finished.

"I don't understand it all."

"I know. The ending is one of our many things." Blaine lazily used air quotes around the word things. "I don't expect you to get it."

"But the rest of the note is very Riley. You're right about that."

"I should have known." There is the statement that Kurt had been preparing for. Of course Blaine was blaming himself for this.

"Blaine, this is not your fault. There is nothing you could have said to her to make her change her mind."

"What do you even know, Kurt?" Blaine's voice was rigid and his eyes could have been enough to kill someone as he looked at Kurt. "You didn't know her like I did, okay? You don't know anything about our relationship or what either one of us had gone through, so don't pretend you do."

Kurt was taken aback as he listened to the words spill from Blaine's mouth. He tried to convince himself that it was just the grief talking but there was something in Blaine's eyes that wanted to tell Kurt that wasn't true.

"Blaine… I'm sorry. I don't really know what to say."

"Then why don't you just go up to bed. Leave me alone for a while."

Kurt leaned over and kissed Blaine on the cheek before silently getting up and surrendering to the darker side of Blaine. He slowly climbed the stairs hoping he would hear Blaine calling after him to apologize and asking him to stay but while he closed the door to his bedroom he realized that was not going to happen.

Blaine sat back on the couch and began to dissolve in his own tears. The thought that he was never going to see Riley's eyes light up again and that he had just pushed the one person he had left away from him caused his body to go numb. He hugged his knees to his chest before resting his forehead on them and he let his body shake.

Kurt laid in his bed listening to Blaine's sobs. Kurt realized that he too had tears streaming down his face again. He was not going to just let the boy he loved sit in the darkness by himself and feel so helpless, but right as he was about to get up and go join him again he heard voices coming from downstairs.

"Hey, man. Mind if I join you?" Finn must have slipped by Kurt's room without him hearing. Kurt looked at the clock; it was nearly seven in the morning. Finding no point in trying to sleep now he decided to sit on the top step and just listen.

Blaine must have just nodded because Kurt heard Finn sit down without a verbal confirmation.

"Couldn't sleep either?" Kurt had to strain to hear Blaine when he spoke because he was so quiet. Just hearing him like that tore Kurt's heart out of his chest. All he wanted to do was pull Blaine into his arms and tell him everything was going to be okay, but he couldn't do that. He couldn't make that promise right now.

"No, not really. I couldn't help but hear you talking to Kurt a few minutes ago." Blaine shrunk into himself again ashamed that he had said those things. "You're wrong you know?"

Blaine looked up at Finn and scrunched his eyebrows together in confusion.

"You're not a bad big brother. Every time I was with Riley over at Rachel's house or before glee when we were talking she would always talk about you. She would always tell these stories of when you were little and you would play with her at the park, or all the times you snuck into her room at night after your parents fought." Finn placed a hand on Blaine's knee. "She loved you, Blaine. There was not a bone in her body that resented you or blamed you for anything that you all went through. You were like a superhero to her, dude. Always there to save the day." Finn gave one of his crooked smiles before grabbing the remote off the table. "You mind?"

Blaine shook his and Finn hit the power button before quickly turning down the volume. A few minutes passed while Finn searched the channels and settled on sports.

"Did she really say that? That I was like a superhero?"

"Well, she never actually spoke the words but she had this journal." Blaine's head immediately snapped up. Finn caught onto his confusion, "Rachel got it for her for her birthday. Said it was all she asked for. Anyway, she drew this picture of you with a superhero cape on. Dude, did you know your sister could draw? Cause it is like, scary good. Anyway, she kept it hanging on the mirror in her bathroom."

"You saw it?"

"Ya. She showed it to me. I'm sure Rachel will let you have it if you want. I mean, she can't really keep it from you."

"Thanks. I would like that."

Finn turned back the screen to watch the announcements for the games that day. Blaine squirmed a little at the awkwardness because he had never just sat alone with Finn before and he wanted to go up and see Kurt. He still felt awful for the things that he had said to him.

"Is Kurt up in his room?"

From the top of the steps Kurt tried to silently get up and sneak back to his bed before Blaine caught him listening in and got mad at him all over again.

"Should be. He was when I came down."

"You mind?" Blaine asked while standing up to cross over to the stairs.

"Of course not, man. Who am I to hold you back? Just make sure Burt doesn't catch you in there behind a closed door." Finn chuckled at his own joke never taking his eyes off the television. Blaine decided that Finn really wasn't that bad. In fact, he liked him.

"Thanks, Finn. For everything." At that Finn did turn to face Blaine again giving the same crooked smile he gave before.

"You and Riley, you're like family. I would do anything for my family."

Blaine tried to smile back but he felt physically incapable of smiling right now. So he just made his way across the rest of the room and up the stairs. He took a deep breath before opening Kurt's door and slipping inside.

Kurt was lying on top of the covers still in clothes from the night before with his eyes closed. He didn't hear Blaine come in or walk over to his bed. When he felt him climb onto the bed he jumped and practically fell off the side.

"Sorry." Blaine sat cross legged on the end of the bed.

"No. You're fine." Kurt crawled over until he was sitting right in front of Blaine and took his hands.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I was just being over sensitive, so I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that to you; I didn't mean any of it."

"I know." Kurt leaned over and kissed Blaine on the cheek.

"Do you think I can lay with you for a little bit?" When Kurt looked at Blaine he had a flash of the little boy Blaine he had seen in some pictures. This Blaine was so innocent and scared, like a child who had a nightmare.

Kurt helped him to the head of the bed where they both lied down on top of the covers. Blaine rested his head on Kurt's chest and draped his arm over Kurt's waist. Kurt pressed a light kiss to his hair before closing his eyes.

Right as Kurt was about to be pulled into the world of dreams Blaine cleared his throat pulling him back to reality.

"I love you, Kurt."

"I love you, too, Blaine." Blaine tightened his arm on Kurt's waist a little.

"Don't leave me, okay?"

"I won't."

"You promise?"

Kurt was silent for a few moments remembering all the times that Blaine and Riley had made little promises with each other. Blaine was now allowing Kurt in, too. He couldn't help but smile.

"I promise."

When Kurt woke up just forty-five minutes later he was alone. In a panic he ran down the stairs to the living room but only saw Finn asleep on the couch. He checked all the bathrooms and kitchen before he went back up to his room to grab his phone to try and call Blaine. Sitting on his nightstand was a note:

**Went to the park.**

Blaine's writing was even more illegible than usual and he figured Blaine must have wanted to get out of the house as quickly as possible. Kurt wasn't sure why he decided to go to the park; maybe someone was waiting for him there, or maybe he just needed some fresh air. The only thing Kurt was certain of was that Blaine was outside in the cold morning air by himself.

The knot in Kurt's stomach tightened as he thought of all the possible things Blaine could be doing.


	13. Chapter 13

Kurt double checked that he had put Blaine's mittens in his pockets before heading out the door. He left a note on the counter for Carole and Burt saying that he went to meet Blaine at the park.

Kurt let the heater run over his face for a couple of minutes before the warm air was swirling throughout the car. He knew he had to get to Blaine quickly but at the same time he knew that Blaine would need some time to himself. Putting the car into gear Kurt drove down the street staying just below the speed limit allowing what he imagined would be the perfect amount of time.

Blaine arrived at the park with frozen fingers and immediately went to the swings. He remembered all the times that he and Riley had come here when they were little. He could hear Riley's five year old voice asking for underdog over and over until Blaine's seven year old arms couldn't push her anymore. The cool breeze whipped over his face almost the tears that silently ran down his cheeks.

Blaine made his way over to the sandbox next. Something about what Finn had said to him this morning, about Riley always mentioning this sandbox had struck him. He sat down on the outside framing of it and ran him hands through the sand. After a few moments he pulled the note Riley left out of his pockets and read over the words again. **Stick to The Script. You promised.**

Kurt got out of his car when he saw Blaine sitting at the sandbox. He walked as slowly as possible while taking in the image of his boyfriend in such a fragile state. He was reading over the note that Riley had left when he arrived.

"Blaine…"

Blaine jumped a little before wiping the tears from his face before he looked up at Kurt.

"I couldn't stay at home, Kurt. I had to come see her."

"I know." Kurt raised his eyebrows and pointed to the seat next to Blaine silently asking if he could join him. Blaine nodded and scooted over a little to give him some space to sit.

"Why did you come here?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," Kurt struggled while he searched for the right words, "You are Riley have spent your whole life together. You have years and years of memories with her, so why did you decide to come to the park?"

"I don't know, I guess it just felt right."

Blaine shifted uncomfortably before his eyes began to search over Riley's note again.

"We can talk about her, if you want to, Blaine. She doesn't have to become this unmentionable subject."

Blaine disintegrated onto Kurt's shoulder. Kurt tried to wrap his arms around him but Blaine began to trash his arms in anger. Kurt stood up and took a step back to give Blaine some air as the tantrum continued. For several minutes Blaine would go back and forth between crying and screaming and wrapping his arms around himself to trashing them in the air towards the sky.

Eventually he ended up holding himself in the fetal position in the middle of the sandbox. Kurt let him lay there for a few seconds before he ran back up to him and lifted his head to rest on his legs.

"It's not fair, Kurt. How can she just do this to me?"

"Blaine, sweetie, you can't blame Riley for what she did. She was scared, and alone, and let the ghosts of her past affect her."

"No, Kurt." Blaine's voice was low and shaky. He stood up rather quickly before he started pacing back and forth next to the sandbox. Kurt could no longer tell if he was crying tears of sadness or tears of anger. "That's not what she did to me." Blaine continued to pace and Kurt had to strain to hear him when he was walking back and forth like that but he wasn't going to interrupt. "About a year and a half ago, before my dad even hit either of us for the first time I caught Riley writing a suicide note in her room. She was so young I didn't know if she was just writing it to get all the feelings out or if she was serious. I also didn't get to finish reading the note either because she ripped it from my hands and tore it up. Either way I knew that something was wrong.

"I made her talk to me every night after that. We would find a time away from everyone else and I would make her tell me about her day and how she was feeling. In exchange I promised her I wouldn't tell anybody." Blaine took a break from his pacing to stare up at the overcast sky. "I even bought her a journal and every once in a while I would read it." Blaine finally got the courage to look Kurt in the eyes. Kurt wasn't looking at him with sympathy though; his bright blue eyes were shining with curiosity edging Blaine to continue with his story. "Everything seemed to be going fine until the night we went to The Script concert." Blaine took a deep breath before addressing Kurt directly. "You listened to them after I gave you the album last month, right?" Kurt nodded. "The song Talk You Down, do you remember it?"

Kurt thought silently for a moment before slowly nodding. Blaine looked at him with pleading eyes trying to get Kurt to connect the dots so he wouldn't have to say the words out loud, but it was no use. Blaine began to shake again and had to turn away from Kurt completely. He took slow deep breaths to try to steady himself before he turned around and started yelling.

"We made a pact, Kurt! Riley and I made a pact! 'Cause if you go I go' those are the lyrics to that song!"

Kurt could practically feel the words bouncing around in his head before his brain could process what they meant. He raised his head slowly with tears filling his eyes. Kurt could barely stand losing Riley there was no way he was going to let them take Blaine as well. Blaine was the love of his life.

"Blaine you can't! I won't let you!" Kurt ran up to him and grabbed his hands. He looked into Blaine's eyes expecting to see someone who was ready to let go, but instead he saw the scared little boy he had seen earlier in his bedroom. Before he knew what he was doing Kurt pulled Blaine into a tight hug letting the smell of Blaine fill his head.

"I don't want to." The warmth of his breath brushed against Kurt's ear while he whispered, "I don't want to leave you or anybody else." Kurt smiled and pulled away to look at Blaine. His smile immediately faded as he watched Blaine's expression change, "But I have to. I promised her and she wants me to keep that promise. That was our biggest 'thing', Kurt. That promise. She and I have made a lot of promises in our life, but after we made the pact that became the biggest and the most important. Neither one of us could live in the world that the other one couldn't stand."

"Blaine, you don't have to do that."

"Yes I do! Why can't you see that, Kurt? This thing is bigger than you. It's bigger than me, it's bigger than us."

"You're right, Blaine! It is bigger!" Kurt couldn't help himself from raising his voice at Blaine. He didn't want to but he felt it was the only way Blaine was going to listen. Kurt watched as Blaine opened his mouth and then snapped it shut staring at him. "This isn't about you and the pact that you made with your sister; this is about beating the odds. This is about showing the world that there is something worth fighting for. Do you really think that you and Riley are the only ones who have been through anything like this? You're not. Kids kill themselves every day because of the cruel things this universe throws at them. But if all the kids like that were to go kill themselves then who would speak up and try to help? I can't do that, Blaine. I cannot even begin to imagine everything you have gone through. There needs to be someone like you in this world to show those people that they are not alone, that they can beat the odds.

"Nobody can relate to the obstacles you have had to overcome besides somebody who has had to overcome the same obstacles. Please, don't become another statistic."

Kurt slowly walked up to Blaine now and pulled him into a hug. He could feel Blaine go limp in his arms. Kurt moved his fingers through Blaine's hair and whispered into his ear.

"Riley was right, you know, about your purpose in life. But she was wrong about me. Your purpose is not to love me whole heartedly; your purpose is to share your love with the whole world. You are here to show people that love is louder. Show them how to use love to beat the odds."

"I don't want to disappoint her." Blaine said weakly into Kurt's shoulder.

The two boys sat on the edge of the sandbox together for the next hour. Blaine silently contemplated his future while Kurt held onto the boy he loved for as long as he could.

They could both feel something was changing; whether it was for better or for worse they didn't know, it was just never going to be the same.

Around eleven they went home and Burt told them that Riley's death had been the top story on the news that morning so now the whole city now knew.

Nothing was normal and everything Blaine did or thought about was painful. He wished he could curl into himself and escape from his own thoughts. He wished that it could be summer so he could go lie in an open field and look up at the sky and do nothing.

The Hudson-Hummel house was abnormally quiet all day. Finn went over to the Berry house to explain everything they knew and to be with Rachel because she was suffering just like the rest of them. Later in the afternoon Blaine went over to collect Riley's things.

The Berrys had graciously packed most of the clothes up but they left everything else for Blaine because they knew that it was all going to be important to him.

He decided to donate all of her things except for the precious items: her iPod because her and Blaine had always shared a love for music, the journal Rachel had gotten her because even though it was barely even started it still held Riley's memories, the picture of Blaine in a superhero costume that Riley had drawn, and lastly her baby blanket.

Kurt stood in the doorway of Riley's room and watched Blaine as he mindlessly stuffed the clothes into a bag. When Blaine found the blanket lying on the bed he immediately picked it up and pulled it to his face letting the smell of Riley fill his thoughts.

As he breathed in he could feel the tears starting to swell in his eyes again. Blaine pulled the blanket back down to his side before neatly folding it and tucking it under his arm for safe keeping. He knew that he would be keeping him with that at nights now, pulling it out every now and again just to smell Riley.

The weekend passed slowly and Kurt spent all of his time with Blaine, helping him through another break down or enjoying the time that it seemed like Blaine could almost pull himself out of it. Burt and Carole tiptoed around the house grieving in silence and Finn was with Rachel the whole time.

Burt lifted the ban on Blaine staying in Kurt's room because he knew and fully understood Blaine's need for someone right now. He wasn't going to be the force that separated the two boys.

Monday morning came all too soon and before he knew it Blaine was in the car with Burt on his way to the police station. Burt convinced him that they had put off all the paperwork long enough and neither of them needed that hanging over their shoulders any longer.

There was only three days of school this week before winter break started. Kurt went while Blaine was at the stations but only to collect the work that he and Blaine would be missing because Burt wasn't going to force them to go back there. At least not until winter break was over.

As Kurt walked into the school he immediately noticed how different the atmosphere was. It seemed much more dark and unwelcoming than the school had ever seemed before. He immediately noticed the absence of all of the glee club members as he made his way passed the choir room to his locker.

Kurt was surrounded by his peers as they walked the hallways to their next class. He took a moment to just sit back and watch this place in action; something he had never really gotten to do before because he too was always in a hurry to get to his next destination.

Many students walked with their heads down and books held closely or backpacks hanging open while students mindlessly talked to one another. Was it always like this? Kurt couldn't answer. He silently turned back to his locker and finished collecting all of his books.

On his way to Blaine's locker Kurt got pulled into the janitor's closet. Panic immediately struck him as he flashbacked to all the time he would get locked in a closet or tossed in a dumpster by the jocks.

He could smell the familiar leather of a letterman's jacket and opened his mouth to scream but before any noise came out a large hand was covering his mouth.

"Don't even think about it."

It was none other than David Karofsky.


	14. Chapter 14

Kurt's eyes grew wide with fear as he looked into Dave's eyes. Anger swept through his veins while he remembered what Dave had said to Riley.

"Don't scream, okay?" Dave's voice came out no louder than a whisper and there was a sort of regret in his tone. "Don't run, either. I really need to talk to you."

Kurt nodded against Dave's hand and he slowly pulled away.

"What do you want Karofsky?"

"Man, I can't do this anymore." Dave backed up until he hit the wall behind him and slid down to the floor. He pulled his knees to his chest and Kurt thought he even saw a tear slide down his cheek. "That girl, the one that killed herself, she is the one I was always talking to, isn't she?"

"First of all, talking to her and bullying her and two completely different things. So get that through your brain. And yes, she is."

Dave's head fell so his forehead hit his knees. It took a moment for Kurt to realize that Dave was breaking down right before his eyes. Maybe Riley's words had actually gotten to him; maybe this was the beginning of a new Dave Karofsky.

"She warned me. Did you know that? She flat out told me that this was going to happen one day and I brushed it off and walked away." Dave looked over as Kurt took a seat next to him, leaving a good foot of space between them. "I didn't listen."

Kurt was not one to just forgive bullies for their actions, but he could tell that something within Karofsky was changing. He knew that this was a cry of desperation, of understanding from Kurt.

"Dave, look…"

"It's my fault!" Karofsky's fists slammed into the cement ground between the two boys. "I keep trying to find ways to twist the past, to find a loop hole to prove that the fault lies with someone else. I have spent the last two days running different scenarios in my head. Thinking that maybe she ran into someone else that was worse to her. That they're the reason she did this."

"It is your fault! Is that what you want to hear?" Kurt felt flustered as the words slipped through his lips. Dave fell silent staring at the ground while Kurt's brain was scrambling. Kurt had done the same thing as Dave this weekend; he spent his time trying to find a person to blame. Kurt wanted to blame her parents but then he thought about all the other factors that had played a role in her death: her parents beating her, her grandparents not fighting for them, abandonment from her friends. "You hurt her Dave, but you need to understand that the blame does not lie solely on you.

"Suicide is not something that you decide to do suddenly one night. It can take months and even years to come to a decision like that." Kurt turned to face Dave directly staring into his wet eyes. "You can't blame all of this on yourself; she had a lot of things happen to her in her life. But at the same time you do need to realize that your actions only added to an already messy situation. And who knows, maybe your words were deciding factor, we will never know. But you cannot blame this all on yourself. Something like that can ruin your life; you could end up just like her."

"I just wish there was something I could to make it better, you know?"

Kurt sat in silence with no response to his words.

"I'm sorry, Kurt. For not realizing sooner."

"I'm not the one that you need to be apologizing to. You think you're having a hard time with this? Her brother is at the police station right now filling out paperwork about his sister's suicide. You need to apologize to him."

"I can't do that. Coming to you was hard enough; there is no way in hell I am going to be able to even look at him without wanting to throw up."

"Dave, you need to do this. You need to show Blaine that her death has made a difference. You need to help him see that speaking up about this kind of thing can make a difference." A spark of energy surged through Kurt while the possibility of finding a way to save Blaine came to him.

At the police station Burt and Blaine took their seats across from the officer.

"So there isn't much to do, just some simple paperwork."

The officer slid a small stack of papers toward Blaine and handed him a pen. Blaine filled out the basic information about Riley and Burt did all the legal signing at the bottom. When Blaine turned to the last page the title caught his eye.

"What is this one from the city?"

"Oh, the body was recovered at the park which belongs to the city so this is just something the city has to do saying they aren't liable for her death."

"Wait." Blaine looked up at the officer. "She was found in the park?"

"Yes, more specifically she was found in the sandbox."

Burt watched as the blood fell from Blaine's face and his hands dropped to his lap.

"Are you okay, kid?"

The three of them sat in silence for a few minutes before Blaine slowly turned to Burt.

"I want to go home."

"Well, this is the last paper I need filled out from you two so if Burt will just sign the bottom you can be on your way."

Without hesitation Burt quickly signed the page and helped Blaine out to the car. Burt tried asking what was wrong as soon as they were alone but Blaine didn't say a word. He sat in the passenger seat with his head turned looking out the window. Burt let him get lost in his own thoughts.

Kurt couldn't stop thinking about Karofsky and what they had talked about while he drove home. His front seat was filled with his and Blaine's books and homework for the next three days, which was surprising very little because teachers took sympathy on them.

He noticed his dad's car in the driveway right away mentally cheering that he wouldn't have to wait for them to get home to tell Blaine about what had happened.

"Where's Blaine?" Kurt walked in to find his dad sitting on the couch by himself watching a football game.

"Oh. We got home from the station and he said he needed to go to the park."

Kurt stopped dead in his tracks his mind instantly going to the worst case scenario.

"Dad…. Dad, look at me!" Kurt frantically set the books down on the kitchen table and ran to stand between Burt and the TV. "Dad, did Blaine take anything with him?"

Burt thought for just a moment, "I don't know, why?"

"Dad, this isn't a joke. I need you to think really hard. Did Blaine take anything with him?"

"I don't think so. We got home and he ran up to use the bathroom and then when he came down he said he had to go to the park. I figured that since that's where Riley was found he would want to go there."

Before Burt had even finished his thought Kurt was running up the stairs to the bathroom. The medicine cabinet above Kurt's sink was open and the entire bottle of Tylenol was gone.

Kurt ran back down the stairs to find Burt waiting at the bottom for him.

"Kurt, what's going on?"

"We have to go, Dad. We have to get to Blaine; he is going to kill himself."

"Wait… what?"

"They made a pact, Dad." Kurt was already grabbing the keys and pulled Burt out the door. "You need to drive, and fast. I need to make a few calls."

Burt and Kurt got into the car and sped off down the road. Kurt pulled out his phone and hit his speed dial number five.

"Finn, I need your help."

Blaine made his way around the park; his mind was racing. At first he sat on the edge of the play equipment staring down to the woodchips. But surely he made his way around to everything there was. He went down the slide by himself, sung on the swings, walked under the monkey bars, pulled the slider from one side to the other, laid down in the tunnel. Each task took him a few short seconds each but Blaine took his time letting his memories flood over him.

He was going to miss it here on earth. The smell of the evergreens, the wind hitting his face, the sun beating down on his back, watching the light snow fall to the ground, the sound of rain on the roof while he tried to sleep, singing along to his iPod in the shower, all of his friends, his new family, Kurt. Above all Blaine was going to miss Kurt. He wanted so badly to hold Kurt one last time; to kiss him and tell him how much he loves him but Blaine knew that if he turned back now he would never be able to do it and he promised Riley he would.

As he took his usual seat on the side of the sandbox Blaine pulled the bottle of Tylenol out of his jacket pocket. Thank goodness Burt was the only one home when he left because he wouldn't have been able to sneak this past anyone else; it was huge. Blaine opened it up to look inside, there had to be hundreds of pills in there. He didn't know how many he needed to take before the effects would kick in, but he knew it was quite a lot. He pulled the bottle of water from his other pocket and dumped Tylenol in his hand. The red capsules lay still in his hand while Blaine closed his eyes and prepared to begin his final goodbye.

"Don't!"

Blaine's eyes shot open and he saw Kurt running towards him Burt not far behind. When he was about ten feet from Blaine Kurt stopped. Blaine could see the tears falling from Kurt's eyes. Burt arrived just a few seconds after Kurt and stood behind him with his hands on Kurt's shoulders.

Kurt opened his mouth to speak but the tears were holding his voice too. He turned and looked up at Burt hoping he would get the message.

"Blaine, you don't have to do this." Burt dropped his hands and took a few steps toward Blaine careful not to push him over the edge.

"Yes, I do. I promised Riley I would." Blaine looked back at the pills in hand.

"No, you don't, Blaine. I'm not going to pretend like I know what you are going through because I don't but so many people out there do. Losing someone like this is not easy, but it is not the end of the world. When I lost Liz I didn't want to go on, I wanted to lie in bed and never leave. I stopped caring about my job, about my life; because I lost one of the people I love the most. But do you know what got me through that, Blaine? Kurt. I knew every morning that when I got up I would get to see Kurt's face. I would have to help him through losing his mother because I wasn't the only person who lost someone special. You're not the only person who has lost someone like this, Blaine. There are so many people out there who are going through the same thing, but just like I did, you have to get up and out of bed every morning and you have to be strong. You have to show other people in your situation, other people like your parents that put you in this situation, people like bullies at school that you still have something to fight for. There are so many people in your life that love you."

Blaine looked up at those words to see that more people were starting to arrive at the park. He instantly recognized Finn because of his height and Rachel with her dads running around the corner. Carole had, at some point, joined them and had Kurt wrapped in her arms. From the other direction Quinn, Tina, Mike, and Sam were running up to meet them also.

Burt looked behind him to see what was happened.

"Do you see this, Blaine? Everybody here cares about you enough to help you get out of bed every morning. They care about Riley enough to help you fight through this."

Blaine looked back down to the pills in his hand and the open bottle next to him. He felt a lump in his throat begin to form and he knew that he was about to lose it. It was now or never.

"Blaine I have something I need you to listen to." It was Rachel who took a step up by Burt now holding her iPod and a set of speakers. She hit play and it took a few seconds before Riley's voice started to fill the air.

She was singing "The End Where I Begin" by The Script and playing guitar to it as well. They all stood around listening to the song not making eye contact with anyone else. There was almost an eerie feeling listening to Riley singing knowing that she was gone now. As the song continued on the rest of the glee club members showed up to join the rest forming a half circle around the sandbox.

_Sometimes tears say all there is to say_

_Sometimes your first scars won't ever fade away_

_Tried to break my heart _

_Well it's broke_

_Tried to hang me high _

_Well I'm choked _

_Wanted rain on me_

_Well I'm soaked _

_Soaked to the skin _

_It's the end where I begin _

_It's the end where I begin _

_Sometimes we don't learn from our mistakes _

_Sometimes we've no choice but to walk away, away _

_Tried to break my heart _

_Well it's broke_

_Tried to hang me high _

_Well I'm choked _

_Wanted rain on me_

_Well I'm soaked _

_Soaked to the skin _

_It's the end where I begin _

_It's the end where I begin _

_Now I'm alive_

_And my ghosts are gone_

_I've shed all the pain_

_I've been holding on _

_The cure for a heart _

_Is to move along, is to move along_

_So move along_

_What don't kill a heart_

_Only makes it strong _

_It's the End where I_

_End where I _

_End where I begin _

_Sometimes we don't learn from our mistakes _

_Sometimes we've no choice but to walk away, away_

_When the song finished there wasn't a dry eye in the park_.

"I didn't understand it at first. To be honest I thought it was a weird way of Riley saying goodbye to me, but after Kurt called Finn to explain what was happening today, I finally understood." No one noticed Dave arrive and begin to walk towards the group because they were all so focused on Rachel's words. "Riley reached her breaking point a long time ago, Blaine. And no matter how hard you or I or anyone else would have tried, once you've reached that point it's just a matter of time. I'm not saying that it isn't sad. The things that Riley must have gone through to reach that point are something that nobody should ever have to experience. But my point is that you haven't reached that point yet, Blaine. If you had those pills would be in your stomach right now, not lingering in the palm of your hand. You're not ready to leave us yet and we don't want you to. Riley wouldn't have wanted you to.

"Her and I stayed up late talking one night just last week and we talked about you and how you are so much bigger than you realize you are, Blaine. You have so much potential to be somebody, to make a difference. If you were to take yourself away from us, away from this life then you would never reach your full potential. That's not what Riley wanted. You're a fighter. Show Riley that all the things that were said to her, all the cruel things people have done to her were not in vein. Show the people that did those things to Riley that they can't break you too and that you have the will to fight back."

"Show me that you have the will to fight back." Everyone's head immediately turned to face Dave. Blaine's eyes flashed with anger and he stood up to go confront him.

"Blaine, just listen to what he has to say, okay?" Kurt walked up next to Blaine now and put a hand on his arm. "I promise you you'll want to hear it."

Kurt gave Dave a small nod telling him to continue.

"Blaine, everybody, I am so sorry for all the things that I said to her. She even warned me about how my words could hurt someone and I didn't listen. But I'm listening now." Dave kicked some woodchips under his shoe before he looked up and met Blaine's eyes. "Knowing that I hold the responsibility for someone killing themselves is something I am never going to forget, and I am never going to do it again. But she's right, Blaine," Dave nodded his head toward Rachel, "You need to fight this. I am one person who learned from this one experience, but there are so many people just at our school who are just like me: unfair and too quick to judge. Seeing you like this, so heartbroken because of something that I helped do is overwhelming. It's enough for me to guarantee myself and all of you that I will never do what I did to Riley to anyone else. But my fear isn't going to change anybody else's. Sure things at school might be chill for the next three days while people try to pretend they care but once winter break is over it is going to be right back to how it was before. But if you are there, Blaine, and you are walking through those halls and you stand up to people like that, you are going to send a message. But if you kill yourself too it will make no difference. People will use the two weeks of break to forget that anything ever happened and they will go about their lives. They need the daily reminder that stuff like suicide and all of that is real. They need you, Blaine."

Kurt turned Blaine so they were face to face now.

"Look at all these people standing in this park right now. They are all here for the same reason that I am here; because they love you. This is your family and you are our family. We already lost one member this week, please don't make any of us go through that a second time."

Blaine didn't say anything; he simply turned and collapsed into Kurt's arms. You could feel the tension that hung over the park evaporate at this very moment. Rachel relaxed and Finn ran up to her, Burt joined Carole, Sam pulled Quinn in and kissed her hair, Mike and Tina were hugging, everyone was relieved that it was over.

Dave was the first to leave after Blaine announced that he just wanted to go home and not long after the park was deserted again. The glee club members all dispersed back to their homes or with each other out somewhere to try to get over what they had just gone through. Kurt held Blaine in his arms on his bed while Blaine drifted off, completely drained from this whole weekend.

Nobody but this group of people would ever know what had just happened in that park. Nobody would know how a life was just saved. Nobody would know whose life was changed. The only thing in the park that was a reminder of this day was a handful pills that lay in the sandbox never to be touched.


	15. Chapter 15

Blaine shot straight up from the bed gasping for air with sweat dripping down the side of his face. Not even a second later he felt Kurt's soft cool hand cover his own.

"Shhh, Blaine, babe, it's okay. You were having another nightmare." Kurt sat up against his headboard and pulled Blaine back between his legs so his head was resting on Kurt's shoulder. Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine's waist resting his chin on Blaine's shoulder. "Hey, sweetie, calm down."

Blaine began to take deep breathes and he relaxed back into Kurt. Ever since the day in the park Blaine had frequently woken up to nightmares. At first he would wake up screaming at the top of his lungs and Kurt would have to run down the couch to be with him. After the first two nights of this Burt lifted the ban on Blaine sleeping in Kurt's room hoping it would help with the nightmares. It did, to an extent. He didn't scream anymore but for the last three nights he had jolted awake in a cold sweat.

After Blaine had completely calmed down Kurt began to relax too.

"Kurt, I don't want to go back to sleep." Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand and began to trace the veins up his forearm. He hesitated with his words now, "I'm… scared. Whenever I close my eyes I start to feel like the walls are slowly closing in on me."

Kurt listened to his boyfriend's words closely because Blaine had yet to open up about his nightmares.

"It's sort of unnoticeable at first. But then the walls get closer and closer and everything begins to disappear and I can hear Riley's voice. Although, she doesn't ever say anything, she is always screaming. And I try to call out for her but the walls are getting so close now and there is no more air left in the room and then I wake up."

Kurt could feel Blaine tense in his arms so he grabbed his hand that was tracing shapes on his arm.

"I'll protect you. I don't know how to make the nightmares go away, but I will always be here when you wake up. And I will hold you and I will kiss you until you're not scared anymore."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

The boys fell asleep soon with Blaine still wrapped in Kurt's arms.

Kurt and Blaine decided not to exchange gifts for Christmas. Blaine got a guitar from Burt and Carole though and a journal from the Berry's (identical to the one they had gotten Riley for her birthday). Blaine spent the next week in Kurt's room learning and playing the guitar while Kurt flipped through his fashion magazines.

"I'm going to write a song for you." Blaine said with a huge grin on his face.

Blaine was getting better. Kurt could tell that he still hurt all the time, which was something he knew wasn't' going to go away for a long time, but today Blaine was smiling which rarely happened. Kurt took note of his as he looked up from his page.

"Is that so?"

"Ya. And it's going to be horrible, just so you know."

"I disagree."

"You haven't ever heard it, silly."

"Well, I know that anything that comes from your heart is going to be amazing."

"Wow, someone had a side of cheese with their cereal this morning." Blaine jokingly winked at Kurt before he got up to go join him on his bed.

Blaine laid down onto the pillows and Kurt flipped around so that their foreheads were pressed together.

"Are you excited for Rachel's party tonight?" Kurt asked while wrapping his arms around Blaine's back.

"Riley always hated New Year's." Kurt expected this to be Blaine's turning point back down to his usual quiet self but instead Blaine scooted his body a little closer to Kurt's. "I believe her exact words were, 'It's just a night for you to see that you've done nothing with your life and reflect upon all the times that you've messed up.'" Blaine closed his eyes for a moment while he nudged Kurt's nose with his own. "Despite everything that has happened this year I am actually looking forward to tonight though."

Kurt furrowed his eyebrows for a moment, "And why is that?"

"Because, it will be our first New Year's together." Blaine opened his eyes now and looked deep into Kurt's, "It will be the first of hopefully many New Year's kisses that I get to share with you."

The next morning Blaine found himself and Kurt in practically the same position. He had woken up with the same nightmare sometime late into the night and Kurt and helped him back to sleep. Careful not to wake Kurt Blaine rolled over to look at the clock; it was about eight-thirty.

Rolling back to facing Kurt Blaine took a few moments to just watch Kurt sleep. He wondered what Kurt dreamt about at night. Blaine hadn't really taken to time to think about how everything that was happening could have affected Kurt but now that Kurt lay unconscious in front of him he could see the physical changes that he had never seen before.

Kurt had circles under his eyes, even while he was sleeping, and he was a bit thinner than usual. Thinking back over the last week and a half Blaine could barely remember when Kurt had taken some time to himself. He was always running around doing something for Blaine or getting something for Burt.

Blaine leaned down and kissed Kurt's forehead and Kurt stirred before slowly opening his eyes.

"Hey, there." Kurt's voice sounded tired.

"Hey, go back to sleep. It's still pretty early." That was a lie, Blaine usually got up at this time which meant Kurt usually did too but today Blaine wanted to let Kurt rest.

"No, I'm not very tired anymore." Blaine knew how stubborn Kurt would be so he wasn't even going to try to argue. "Besides, I want to play you something."

"Play me something?"

"Ya, on your guitar if you don't mind."

"I didn't know you played."

Kurt lay silently for a moment playing with the comforter on his bed and then slowly picking up Blaine's hand to play with that.

"My mom used to play for me when I was little and she even taught me a few things. But after she died I didn't play anymore because I thought it would upset my dad." Kurt sat up now so he mirrored Blaine on the bed. "Freshman year I was walking by the band room at school and I saw a guitar sitting in there. I spent every day during lunch in there relearning everything my mom had taught me and then teaching myself even more. And then after everything happened with you and Riley I took the time that you were with her to learn a song for you."

A small smile set on Kurt's mouth and Blaine leaned over and kissed him gently.

"I would love to hear it."

Blaine watched as Kurt got off the bed and crossed the room to grab the guitar. He quickly fixed his hair in the mirror before coming back over and sitting down on the bed again.

He carefully placed his fingers over the proper strings and gave it a quick strum just to double check that his chord was right.

Blaine sat full of anticipation as Kurt closed his eyes and began to play.

He immediately recognized the tune from The Script cd he had given Kurt.

_You touch these tired eyes of mine_

_And map my face out line by line_

_And somehow growing old feels fine_

_I listen close for I'm not smart _

_You wrap your thoughts in works of art _

_And they're hanging on the walls of my heart_

Kurt opened his eyes to look at Blaine and realized that his eyes were filling with tears. He wore a small smile and looked at him as if he were his world.

_I may not have the softest touch _

_I may not say the words as such _

_And though I may not look like much _

_I'm yours _

_And though my edges may be rough _

_And never feel I'm quite enough _

_It may not seem like very much _

_But I'm yours_

Blaine took over the song now as Kurt sat back listening while he strummed out the notes.

_You heeled these scars over time_

_Embraced my soul _

_You loved my mind_

_You're the only angel in my life_

_The day news came my best friend died _

_My knees went week and you saw me cry _

_Say I'm still the soldier in your eyes_

_I may not have the softest touch _

_I may not say the words as such _

_And though I may not look like much _

_I'm yours _

_And though my edges may be rough _

_And never feel I'm quite enough _

_It may not seem like very much _

_But I'm yours_

Kurt joined Blaine now with perfect harmony for the last part of the song.

_I may not have the softest touch _

_I may not say the words as such _

_I know I don't fit in that much_

_But I'm yours_

When the song was finished Blaine and Kurt just looked into each other's eyes for a long moment before Kurt put the guitar down.

"You know, I know you think that the note Riley left her was referring to the other song that you guys always talked about, but I like to think that she meant this song."

Blaine didn't say anything for a while; he just thought about Kurt's words. It was going to take a lifetime of convincing to get Blaine to believe that. But that's the thing; Blaine had his entire life ahead of him.

"I love you, Kurt. I love you so much that just saying 'I love you' feels like it doesn't even begin to cover how I feel about you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Without you I wouldn't have the rest of my life ahead of me."

"And I cannot even begin to imagine what my life would be like without you, Blaine. I love you. I will be here for forever; you and me against the world."

"You promise?"

"I promise."


End file.
